MassMedia ThrowBack Post: Put A Ring On It

(I wrote this post December of 2008 so it’s pretty old, before Beyonce told us to get a ring on it lol)

I’ve been in heated debates on this topic on a lot of other sites. At twenty-eight years of age I don’t know how or when did this world take a turn for the worst? Now I know it’s the new age and all but I cannot get with it. Call me old fashion but I still believe in marriage! My grandma always said to me “If you good to lay down with than your good enough to marry.”  When did being made official become wrong? When did we as women decide that being married is no longer important?

All I keep hearing is as long as he treats me nice it don’t matter? Do we, as women no longer know the benefits that marriage brings?  Why do we let men off the hook, what about our daughters do we raise them in just being a man’s fu** buddy. Do we tell our kids that marriage is not important? Do we tell our daughters that it’s okay to have babies with a man and he does not have to commit to you? I don’t understand it please tell me if I’m stuck in the seventies or this world has no more values and has brainwashed the women into believing that were only good enough to date?

I’ll be the first in line to holla nigg** ain’t shi* but the truth be told we as women often look over the good men because we feel like he’s a lame. He’s too nice (<—- The stupidest shi* I ever said, ex Lisa Wu husband) He’s a goofy are whatever is said. We run behind the wrong type of guy because his thug style and swagger got us off our rocker. Than when he stomps over our heart or we find out about his twenty other woman he got, you start hollering Nigg** ain’t shi* are start back with there ain’t no good man in the world crap.

I feel like men are never gonna step up and be what there supposed to be as long as we as women keep backing down and settling for less. Why should they stop running wild when they can freely have their cake and eat it to. Have a baby momma and not worry about wifeing her. Have a wife and a woman on the side because she don’t care that he’s married. I just think it’s sad that we have come to this; ten years ago the world was much different. I’m scared to see where we will be in another ten years if we don’t get it together.

I was telling my sister and her friends that our relationships usually don’t work out as women because we try to step on God’s toes.  The bible says, “When a man finds a woman he finds a good thing.” it does not say when a woman finds a man she finds a good thing. So were out here running behind these men and we’ve already stepped in and took over God’s order.  Instead of letting him chase you like God intended it your doing the total opposite. And it never works out because anytime you have to chase behind a man that means he’s not checking for you like that. So he looks at it like “She will always be there I got her on lock, I’ll do me and when I’m ready I’ll treat her right.”  Than your loving him more than you love yourself and your putting up with all his bullshi* because you have doomed that relationship from the start. The correct way is to let a man chase you let him fall in love with you first. I feel like and I don’t know if this is true, but if a man loves you more, if he took all his time chasing you, when he gets you he will appreciate it and will do all the things to keep you because he doesn’t want to lose you.  If you running behind him why should he care about treating you bad you checking for him.

I don’t know I’m not a love guru but I loved a man more than I loved myself once and I will never do it again. I loved him so much I put up with so much nonsense I’m too ashamed to write about. When I sit back and hear the words that my grandma told me when I was younger she was right. Loving a man more than he loves you will never work, you will never be happy! He will never appreciate you. Not until you get up and pack your bags and hit the road and let him know that you ain’t never coming back. I believe God set an order for a reason and we, as women need to let him do his work and not try to do it for him. I know marriage is not for everybody but if your saying all a man need to do is treat you nice or you don’t care about getting married ask yourself is that what you really want? As long as you’re saying it BECUASE it’s the way you feel I’m with it. But if your settling for a man or with the idea of just being content with having one around that I think it’s time to wake up.

Having a man in your life does not make you happy because at anytime he can walk out on you than what? It’s when you can be happy all by yourself and if God sends you someone than you can be a complete package. Being married is not a bad thing it’s beautiful and it’s only what you make of it.

What are your thoughts?