MassMedia Throwback Post: Behind Every Good Man

I heard a wise statement once or twice, Behind Every Good Man there’s a Good Strong Woman.

This is what I feel when I see these two together, I see a unit– Not a one-man team but a partnership. Every time I see Michelle I tell myself wow, she’s some kind of lady. She holds up her family she’s the backbone to a husband, and she does it so gracefully.

I never been a wife persay but this is how I feel, as a woman and a wife you have the most important role in a marriage. You have to be strong even on your weakest days; you still have to endure. You have to build up your husband, endure his pain and be his stress reliever when he’s angry. You also have to be his shoulder and his comfort zone. When he’s angry you get lashed out on even though it has nothing to do with you. Being a wife and a man’s better half you’re the closest thing he has to him. So the anger trickles down for you to endure and even though you wanna snap back. You don’t– you show love and support and let your hubby know you have his back. You let him know that he can depend on you and although he’s upset you still love him and will be there when he wants to talk about it.

Countless number of times you put yourself last, and sometimes you can’t even remember if you ate for the day. You’re always moving with the kids, getting dinner ready or cleaning the house. You forget to sit down for five minutes and think to yourself. And even if you do take time, you’re thinking about what to cook tomorrow or checking a homework assignment.

And through the mist of it all, you still have to be a sex kitten ready to put it on Big Daddy whenever he’s ready.

Being a man’s wife is not an easy job; I don’t think a lot of women know what it takes or what the entire job comes with. I think most women are concern with being equal. And a marriage should be 50/50 but it will never be equal. A woman is the backbone of the family, without her the family will not survive. A woman knows although she lets her husband wear the pants she’s the one running it. Without her he couldn’t bare it. Sometimes women feel the need to feel as big as her husband. We have a problem with taking orders from a man outside of our fathers.

I tell my friends all the time our mouths are one of the biggest problems a marriage can face. We always want to strap up our combat boots and go to war with our husband just so he thinks he’s not running it. But why do that when we should know whose running it. We have the power and the means; we can get a man to do whatever we want him to. So why go to war or be mouthy. By no means do I think we should be Edith from The Bunkers and shut up and jump to attention when he snaps his fingers. I think all women should receive the utmost respect from their husband who should also value his wife’s opinion.

What I am saying is sometimes its okay just to chill out and say Okay Babe. Have you ever heard somebody tell you; let that person be a fool all by they damn self they’ll feel stupid and stop. That goes double in a marriage. Just because hubby is acting a fool doesn’t mean jump in with him. The more love you give him while he’s acting up the more silly he will feel. And after he realizes he was being an ass hole you can get a new bag or shoes or something.

My friends call me old fashion and say I live in the Old Testament in the bible. I don’t mind them saying that because I am old fashion, I believe in an order. The bible says man, woman and child and he wrote that in his word not me.

The problem comes in when you love an ungrateful bastard and he treats you like shyt. And I’m laughing right now because I was watching Man and Wife the other day and somebody asked Fat Man Scoop that question. His answer was what my grandma told me back in the day I just didn’t understand what she meant.

“You loved a man more than he loved you and that’s why you weren’t appreciated.” Fat Man Scoop.

I could rant and rave about ungrateful man all day but bottom line is the only person you can blame is yourself for sticking around. I know I jumped way off the subject but I can do that, this is my blog I can do what I wanna lol.

Back to Michelle, I think she represents the essences of what an educated black woman who’s a great mother and loving wife should be. I don’t know her personally and I know people can put on fronts. But what I see is real, you can only pretend for so long. You can tell by the way a woman speaks about her man if she’s happy are not. The smile in her voice lets me know that the love they share is real.

Unhappy women frown when there man name is mention, they make comments like I don’t know where he’s at and don’t care. You would never hear them say he’s never disappointed me. You’ll hear them say; well we got these kids and bills so I’m here. You’ll catch her rolling her eyes when she sees his number on the caller id. She’ll never have a glow like Michelle because she’s not happy she’s just there. When you ask her if she has a man she’ll respond with a dry yeah. Unhappy women don’t look into their husband’s eyes like Michelle did her husband when he got sworn in.

What they have is real love and it’s written all over their face, not a look that reads I wish his ass will leave me the fluck alone.

Being a wife is beautiful thing and I believe when a man is excelling in life. It’s because he has a strong woman beside him cheering him on.

What do you think?