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Feb252009
Throwback Post: How Much Of Your Business Should U Tell?
Written by Nichelle at 5:50 pm
We all have ran our mouth a little to much before, you get upset and pissed off so you need to vent. You call up your girlfriend / boy and snap out, man she did this or girl he did that—by the end of your conversation you have told your friend all your business not knowing what to expect back. You have to be careful who you tell your problems to, because your problems can become there problems and there problems can become yours.
Example, in the bible Herodias pimped out her daughter and had her dance for her husband the King, she knew her husband had a thing for her daughter so she used her. Now Herodias was all out wrong and she knew it, she married her dead husband’s brother so she could continue to live good. John the Baptist preached against her and she didn’t like it-she wanted him dead by any means necessary. She asked her daughter to do a sexy dance for her husband and she did. In fact she did it so well that the King told her he would give her anything that she wanted.
Now this is where I say–your problems can become my problems.. Salome asked her mother what should she ask for. Her mother told her that she wanted the head of John The Baptist- her daughter did not want to do this. Her mother convinced her that this needed to be done—that he was messing up there good thing and he needed to go. Her mother filled her head with lies and untrue stories and made her feel guilty. She would eventually ask for him to be beheaded and once it was done she was the one made to suffer for it, not her mother.
Now I say this because if she would have never asked her mother for advice – she wouldn’t have taken on her mother’s problems. She had nothing to do with John and her mother’s run inn’s–but by her opening up that line of communication, she was able to be controlled and manipulated. She did something that she did not want to do. She let her mother’s burden become her burden. You can not tell people your business because you never know what burdens they are carrying around with them.
TD Jakes movie Not Easily Broken was a good example as well—her mother’s past relationship wore down on her daughter’s relationship and she almost lost her husband because of her mother. We as women /men need to take our problems to God first and pray about it and let him lead the way. Yes you do need a person who you can vent to—but you have to be careful who you’re letting in. People can make something so little seem so big because of there past relationship and from being scorn. Misery Love Company we all know this—its life. You never know if the person you’re telling your business to is upset or mad at there spouse. So now there giving you bad advice because there at the fluck it stage in their relationship. They don’t care what they say or how they say it—there mad and want you to be mad with them. We all have true friends who we can open up to, I just advise you to only tell them the little things and take the big things to God. Remember he is the only person who won’t judge you or tell your secrets.
Beside if you tell to much and you decide to work things out now this opens up room for your friends and family to side eye your spouse.. I think it’s best to talk to God about it.
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16 Comments to “MassMedia Throwback Post: Got To Get My Heart Back”
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I will be honest with ya… I honestly think that I loved my last boyfriend more than any other BF I have ever had, I loved everything about him, flaws and all lol. But I didn’t TRULY love him, lemme explain. Before him was the person that i truly loved, meaning i gave my ALL to him. Intimacy was strong, I allowed myself to be emotional and vulnerable without being scared of the consequences, I was very open with my heart to him, I was fearlessly in love(wow). We were so close that it got to the point where I NEVER thought i would ever be with someone else again. Well he was psychotic and it got so bad, i had to abruptly end it. So anyways, since then, I have never gotten my heart back, I have never loved like that, I have never been that emotional or open and that was 3 years ago. This weekend I sat by myself and was like, I honestly don’t think i can EVER love like that again, ever. And i am not even gonna try. I am looking for security and ninja I just like and can get along with. Period.
i can already tell what the issue is…
women picking the wrong dudes and expecting them to be different than what they’ve shown and letting that sour them.
dwell on it if you want, and miss out on life.
be by yourselves for awhile learn more about yourselves and what pros and cons of you bring to a relationship. learn which values are important to you and the person you want to be with. nobody has your heart…in fact nobody can take it away, sothere’s no getting it back, it never left.
songs like these are nonsense to me.
pretty much its either dwell on a ongoing issue which means you haven’t found the remedy to solve it. And if the answer isn’t within self, then it never existed.
…atleast that’s how i see it.
@ BabyDoll I feel you but I keep telling myself never say never you know
@Zillz you know I think men just look at love from a differ view so I don’t think men understand the same hurt–idk I like this song///
Never say never is true, but i just feel like it would take an spirtual intervention from another level and a AWESOME man for me to love like that again lol.
And Zillz, You made it sound so simple, and I am a logical person so I understand where you coming from, but you know what? Love is just not that black and white….
I understand, and yes I think men just make it seem so easy. and it prob is and we make it so hard idk.
I agree with zillz…I think relationships (bad or good) are stepping stones in life to help us truly develop, learn and figuring out who we really are and what we want in life. Some relationships you are a little more rapped up in (kids, finances, etc.) but ultimately when you finally walk away…you’ve grown (or at least should have). I was in a long relationship that really hurt me but once I moved on and started to date other people, I knew exactly what I would and wouldn’t put up with. Being in that long relationship helped me mature, be more patient and I already knew I wasn’t doing another 7 yrs with a BOYFRIEND!!! I still talk to my ex and with every conversation I thank God, that we grew apart. That relationship helped me become the woman I am today. Live, learn and move on if things are wrong for you!!
Even though i am young i can understand how you guys are feeling some ppl might call it young love but i know what we had was real we were from different backgrounds but when we talked all of that seemed so far away we connected on another level no intimacy though because i’m not ready and he was cool with that…and the first argument we had ended all of that we both cried trying to find some way to make things work but i was just too stubborn too listen i guess what i’m trying too say is that yes relationships are a gamble you’ll never know the outcome but how will you ever know if you don’t put yourself out there… by listening to a friend at times i regretted breaking it off but i know we both have to live our own lives now and i just wish him the best…..
Also do you think this is the reason relationships don’t work out because people don’t wait until they gotten there heart back?
Before you open the next door you need to close that door behind you, you cant start brand new if you still have feelings for someone, dating someone else is NOT going to help you get over a person
I agree but folks believe that’s the best way sometimes but it’s not because you can not give them your all
Yessss i sooo have life in me wen i hear this joint…keysh 2nd cd got me thru sum ruff thangs n my life in 08….. Triflin babydaddy drama..i so agree wen you all that said you must luvurself and see bout self 1st and u must close dat door b4 u open anotha one…and i agree on the part wen u think you’ll nevea be able to mend and luv again..but i also do agree dat you can and will find da rite luv again and wen u find it baaaaybaay oh wha a happy day….9months strong and im all smiles wit a DIFFERENT MAN AND AREAL MAN!
I hear that brigitte glad to see you in a better space
Breakups are hard when we think and know we have given our all. What we fail to realize is we gave our all to the wrong person. If two ppl are not on the same page no amount of time will heal, embrace, make it happen. My husband is my best friend. When I met my hubby and fell in love, I told him, “you will get the best of me but you will also get the worst of me because of all the BS I have been through. Hubby was willing to take a chance on me and we have been married for over 12 yrs. The first year was hard but we didn’t throw in the towel. There is nothing wrong with being single, society puts pressure on us to get married or have kids by a certain time. We have to unthink all that and just allow things to progress naturally. It’s when we are not looking that we are able to accept GODs gift in the mate he sends.
I have to say that when a women is no longer in a relationship the worst things to say is, “You’re so pretty you will find another man soon, or You’re still young, someone else will come along. WTH? LOL. When your heart is broken it does not matter how pretty you are or if age is still on your side. When my heart was broken a few decades ago, my gf(s) made sure I was not alone and showered me with their love and getting me out the house. Girls night out is always a great stress reliever when “Debbie Downer(you)want to mope and have a pity party. Never under estimate the power of girlfriends. Sorry about the long comment, just wanted to make it known that things do get better.
I love to learned to love myself more than anyone else, other than my Heavenly Father. When you love and cherish yourself, you won’t cast your pearls before swine. Selah.
I agree with u guys attorney mom and Anna I think that’s the most imporant lesson I learned in life was to love me first. Anytime you love something more than yourself u will always subject yourself to foolishness. And Anna your right lovin the wrong person for the wrong reason another lesson learned I’m glad u and hubby are still makin I work..
i am in a deep mess right now, really hope i can pull through with all your kind words and advice, we have been apart for 2weeks now, we both dont know what is going on, scared to move on
Honey I’ve been there and done that, make a list and if the bad out way the good then keep on moving because here’s nothing like looking back and saying I should have would have could have when you can just do it know, you can stop by here I always have something to help you get through things. Stay bless