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Feb232009
MassMedia Throwback: Starting Over Again
Written by Nichelle at 9:14 pm
Starting over again at love can be hard especially if the past has hurt you. Once you get out of a relationship you’re scared to let yourself go and let someone in so you seclude yourself. But loving again can be great, I remember when Kimora spilt from Uncle Russy and she said she didn’t want to date again. And I believe everyone feels this way once they’ve spilt from there spouse. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel for some, my sister just got engaged over the weekend and I’m so happy for her.
I remember when she told me that she was never going to find a good man and that she wasn’t going to get married, so I’m happy for her. I think the second time around at love for a lot of people can be better than the first time; you’re smarter, wiser and know what you want. If you’ve felt wrong before than you’ll appreciate right, it’s a adjustment period getting back out there in the field. You have to be willing to open up your heart and trust again. At the same time you want to be smart about your choices and smarter with your decisions so you won’t end up back where you started from. But starting over is not a bad thing you can find happiness if that’s what your looking for. Kimora did, my sister did and I know a few others who stepped out on faith and found there soul mate. So don’t throw in the towel, your soul mate is out there waiting for you.
Personally I don’t ever want to be in another relationship, NEVER! I know it may make me seem like a hypocrite because I’m preaching the good gospel to you guys. But I’m a Scrooge and I don’t want you to be like me, so instead of me saying bah humbug to you guys—I want you to love again and be happy….
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16 Comments to “MassMedia Throwback Post: Got To Get My Heart Back”
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I will be honest with ya… I honestly think that I loved my last boyfriend more than any other BF I have ever had, I loved everything about him, flaws and all lol. But I didn’t TRULY love him, lemme explain. Before him was the person that i truly loved, meaning i gave my ALL to him. Intimacy was strong, I allowed myself to be emotional and vulnerable without being scared of the consequences, I was very open with my heart to him, I was fearlessly in love(wow). We were so close that it got to the point where I NEVER thought i would ever be with someone else again. Well he was psychotic and it got so bad, i had to abruptly end it. So anyways, since then, I have never gotten my heart back, I have never loved like that, I have never been that emotional or open and that was 3 years ago. This weekend I sat by myself and was like, I honestly don’t think i can EVER love like that again, ever. And i am not even gonna try. I am looking for security and ninja I just like and can get along with. Period.
i can already tell what the issue is…
women picking the wrong dudes and expecting them to be different than what they’ve shown and letting that sour them.
dwell on it if you want, and miss out on life.
be by yourselves for awhile learn more about yourselves and what pros and cons of you bring to a relationship. learn which values are important to you and the person you want to be with. nobody has your heart…in fact nobody can take it away, sothere’s no getting it back, it never left.
songs like these are nonsense to me.
pretty much its either dwell on a ongoing issue which means you haven’t found the remedy to solve it. And if the answer isn’t within self, then it never existed.
…atleast that’s how i see it.
@ BabyDoll I feel you but I keep telling myself never say never you know
@Zillz you know I think men just look at love from a differ view so I don’t think men understand the same hurt–idk I like this song///
Never say never is true, but i just feel like it would take an spirtual intervention from another level and a AWESOME man for me to love like that again lol.
And Zillz, You made it sound so simple, and I am a logical person so I understand where you coming from, but you know what? Love is just not that black and white….
I understand, and yes I think men just make it seem so easy. and it prob is and we make it so hard idk.
I agree with zillz…I think relationships (bad or good) are stepping stones in life to help us truly develop, learn and figuring out who we really are and what we want in life. Some relationships you are a little more rapped up in (kids, finances, etc.) but ultimately when you finally walk away…you’ve grown (or at least should have). I was in a long relationship that really hurt me but once I moved on and started to date other people, I knew exactly what I would and wouldn’t put up with. Being in that long relationship helped me mature, be more patient and I already knew I wasn’t doing another 7 yrs with a BOYFRIEND!!! I still talk to my ex and with every conversation I thank God, that we grew apart. That relationship helped me become the woman I am today. Live, learn and move on if things are wrong for you!!
Even though i am young i can understand how you guys are feeling some ppl might call it young love but i know what we had was real we were from different backgrounds but when we talked all of that seemed so far away we connected on another level no intimacy though because i’m not ready and he was cool with that…and the first argument we had ended all of that we both cried trying to find some way to make things work but i was just too stubborn too listen i guess what i’m trying too say is that yes relationships are a gamble you’ll never know the outcome but how will you ever know if you don’t put yourself out there… by listening to a friend at times i regretted breaking it off but i know we both have to live our own lives now and i just wish him the best…..
Also do you think this is the reason relationships don’t work out because people don’t wait until they gotten there heart back?
Before you open the next door you need to close that door behind you, you cant start brand new if you still have feelings for someone, dating someone else is NOT going to help you get over a person
I agree but folks believe that’s the best way sometimes but it’s not because you can not give them your all
Yessss i sooo have life in me wen i hear this joint…keysh 2nd cd got me thru sum ruff thangs n my life in 08….. Triflin babydaddy drama..i so agree wen you all that said you must luvurself and see bout self 1st and u must close dat door b4 u open anotha one…and i agree on the part wen u think you’ll nevea be able to mend and luv again..but i also do agree dat you can and will find da rite luv again and wen u find it baaaaybaay oh wha a happy day….9months strong and im all smiles wit a DIFFERENT MAN AND AREAL MAN!
I hear that brigitte glad to see you in a better space
Breakups are hard when we think and know we have given our all. What we fail to realize is we gave our all to the wrong person. If two ppl are not on the same page no amount of time will heal, embrace, make it happen. My husband is my best friend. When I met my hubby and fell in love, I told him, “you will get the best of me but you will also get the worst of me because of all the BS I have been through. Hubby was willing to take a chance on me and we have been married for over 12 yrs. The first year was hard but we didn’t throw in the towel. There is nothing wrong with being single, society puts pressure on us to get married or have kids by a certain time. We have to unthink all that and just allow things to progress naturally. It’s when we are not looking that we are able to accept GODs gift in the mate he sends.
I have to say that when a women is no longer in a relationship the worst things to say is, “You’re so pretty you will find another man soon, or You’re still young, someone else will come along. WTH? LOL. When your heart is broken it does not matter how pretty you are or if age is still on your side. When my heart was broken a few decades ago, my gf(s) made sure I was not alone and showered me with their love and getting me out the house. Girls night out is always a great stress reliever when “Debbie Downer(you)want to mope and have a pity party. Never under estimate the power of girlfriends. Sorry about the long comment, just wanted to make it known that things do get better.
I love to learned to love myself more than anyone else, other than my Heavenly Father. When you love and cherish yourself, you won’t cast your pearls before swine. Selah.
I agree with u guys attorney mom and Anna I think that’s the most imporant lesson I learned in life was to love me first. Anytime you love something more than yourself u will always subject yourself to foolishness. And Anna your right lovin the wrong person for the wrong reason another lesson learned I’m glad u and hubby are still makin I work..
i am in a deep mess right now, really hope i can pull through with all your kind words and advice, we have been apart for 2weeks now, we both dont know what is going on, scared to move on
Honey I’ve been there and done that, make a list and if the bad out way the good then keep on moving because here’s nothing like looking back and saying I should have would have could have when you can just do it know, you can stop by here I always have something to help you get through things. Stay bless