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Feb172009
MassMedia Throwback Post: The Battle of The Sexes
Written by Nichelle at 4:17 pm
“Anything you can do I can do better, I can do anything better than you.”
Have you every said this to your spouse? Have you ever thought it in your head or mumbled it under you breath?
I will admit I have said those lines before out of anger, being upset at some of the things that where going on–so I said it and at the time I meant it. But after I cooled myself off and calmed down, I went back to my regular self and started thinking reasonably-however I can see why you would utter those words to your spouse.
My friends call me old fashion and say I women bash, they tell me all the time–why do you think men can do whatever and women can’t? And it’s not that I don’t think women can do whatever men do, we can! However, we have way more to loose—but my friends disagree with me (not all). So after my post about Black Women staying ringless it made me think. Is this a factor in why were single because we think and act like men? Is it that we are taking over all the roles that men once had? I know I touched on coming from a broken home and that plays a role for men and women. But I’m talking about women saying “well the nigga’s do it, so I’m going to do it.” Do men like women like this?
I think a lot of women now say fuck it; I don’t care anymore. They have the attitudes that some of my friends have–they feel that men and women can do the same things. They feel like there going to do them and live by the above saying.
In my eyes if you both are the same—what’s the use of dating outside of having a smash session? Wouldn’t it be like having a relationship with a person of the same sex? I feel if a man wanted to date a dude than he will have one. (Unless he’s a closet fun boy) If he wanted to be in a relationship with somebody knuckling up like him, talking like him basically acting like him—he would be with a guy. So is this sending some guys packing? Is this one of the reason some guys just hit it and keeping it moving, because there looking for a woman to be soft?
And this goes for us ladies to, you know we don’t want a man doing what we do. Acting like us—the first thing that will come to mind is that he’s gay. You know we want our man to be manly and not switching and talking about what color nail polish he likes—you know. I think and I could be wrong—I have been wrong a few times—but I feel like a guy does not want a girl acting like him. He wants her to be soft and lady like; he does not want her running around telling him she could do the same thing he does.
It’s like your guy saying that to you—you know that’s a lie-men could never do remotely what we do. And no matter how many times we stomp our feet—we can never be like a men-God made us different for a reason. We have to balance one another—even when you have a gay couple you have one person being manly and the other is being soft. It’s just the way it is, relationships have to balance in order to work and if both of you are the same it’s not going to work.
Side Note: (I think this battle of the sexes crap; has ruined what companionship should be about. It has now made us compete with each other instead of holding one another down. It has made us look down and try to be little one another instead of building each other up. It has torn our families and community down until the point where everything is divided. Everything is now about who has more, who is winning and who can make the most money. Women and men look down on those who are beneath them instead of helping–its crazy to me. I just think about Good Times and the episode when Florida wanted to go to school and her husband disagreed at first. It was a family unit in those days so she said fine James if you don’t want me to I won’t. Than after he thought about it, he went out and brought her a book bag and took his check and paid for her classes and surprised her. He thought about all the sacrifices that she’d made for him and her family and he just wanted her to be happy. My thing about that episode was she made him feel like a man she didn’t put him down or tell him about telling her what to do. She just said okay babe and made him see that she was willing to work with him. I think somewhere along the line we have lost that spirit the women have, and the men have forgotten that it’s not always about having control it’s about doing what’s best for your family. And I guess it goes back to not having an example of that growing up–but I’m just saying how I feel)
What are your thoughts and if you disagree tell me. Can men and women do the same things? What’s your take on it lets keep it real…
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16 Comments to “MassMedia Throwback Post: Got To Get My Heart Back”
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I will be honest with ya… I honestly think that I loved my last boyfriend more than any other BF I have ever had, I loved everything about him, flaws and all lol. But I didn’t TRULY love him, lemme explain. Before him was the person that i truly loved, meaning i gave my ALL to him. Intimacy was strong, I allowed myself to be emotional and vulnerable without being scared of the consequences, I was very open with my heart to him, I was fearlessly in love(wow). We were so close that it got to the point where I NEVER thought i would ever be with someone else again. Well he was psychotic and it got so bad, i had to abruptly end it. So anyways, since then, I have never gotten my heart back, I have never loved like that, I have never been that emotional or open and that was 3 years ago. This weekend I sat by myself and was like, I honestly don’t think i can EVER love like that again, ever. And i am not even gonna try. I am looking for security and ninja I just like and can get along with. Period.
i can already tell what the issue is…
women picking the wrong dudes and expecting them to be different than what they’ve shown and letting that sour them.
dwell on it if you want, and miss out on life.
be by yourselves for awhile learn more about yourselves and what pros and cons of you bring to a relationship. learn which values are important to you and the person you want to be with. nobody has your heart…in fact nobody can take it away, sothere’s no getting it back, it never left.
songs like these are nonsense to me.
pretty much its either dwell on a ongoing issue which means you haven’t found the remedy to solve it. And if the answer isn’t within self, then it never existed.
…atleast that’s how i see it.
@ BabyDoll I feel you but I keep telling myself never say never you know
@Zillz you know I think men just look at love from a differ view so I don’t think men understand the same hurt–idk I like this song///
Never say never is true, but i just feel like it would take an spirtual intervention from another level and a AWESOME man for me to love like that again lol.
And Zillz, You made it sound so simple, and I am a logical person so I understand where you coming from, but you know what? Love is just not that black and white….
I understand, and yes I think men just make it seem so easy. and it prob is and we make it so hard idk.
I agree with zillz…I think relationships (bad or good) are stepping stones in life to help us truly develop, learn and figuring out who we really are and what we want in life. Some relationships you are a little more rapped up in (kids, finances, etc.) but ultimately when you finally walk away…you’ve grown (or at least should have). I was in a long relationship that really hurt me but once I moved on and started to date other people, I knew exactly what I would and wouldn’t put up with. Being in that long relationship helped me mature, be more patient and I already knew I wasn’t doing another 7 yrs with a BOYFRIEND!!! I still talk to my ex and with every conversation I thank God, that we grew apart. That relationship helped me become the woman I am today. Live, learn and move on if things are wrong for you!!
Even though i am young i can understand how you guys are feeling some ppl might call it young love but i know what we had was real we were from different backgrounds but when we talked all of that seemed so far away we connected on another level no intimacy though because i’m not ready and he was cool with that…and the first argument we had ended all of that we both cried trying to find some way to make things work but i was just too stubborn too listen i guess what i’m trying too say is that yes relationships are a gamble you’ll never know the outcome but how will you ever know if you don’t put yourself out there… by listening to a friend at times i regretted breaking it off but i know we both have to live our own lives now and i just wish him the best…..
Also do you think this is the reason relationships don’t work out because people don’t wait until they gotten there heart back?
Before you open the next door you need to close that door behind you, you cant start brand new if you still have feelings for someone, dating someone else is NOT going to help you get over a person
I agree but folks believe that’s the best way sometimes but it’s not because you can not give them your all
Yessss i sooo have life in me wen i hear this joint…keysh 2nd cd got me thru sum ruff thangs n my life in 08….. Triflin babydaddy drama..i so agree wen you all that said you must luvurself and see bout self 1st and u must close dat door b4 u open anotha one…and i agree on the part wen u think you’ll nevea be able to mend and luv again..but i also do agree dat you can and will find da rite luv again and wen u find it baaaaybaay oh wha a happy day….9months strong and im all smiles wit a DIFFERENT MAN AND AREAL MAN!
I hear that brigitte glad to see you in a better space
Breakups are hard when we think and know we have given our all. What we fail to realize is we gave our all to the wrong person. If two ppl are not on the same page no amount of time will heal, embrace, make it happen. My husband is my best friend. When I met my hubby and fell in love, I told him, “you will get the best of me but you will also get the worst of me because of all the BS I have been through. Hubby was willing to take a chance on me and we have been married for over 12 yrs. The first year was hard but we didn’t throw in the towel. There is nothing wrong with being single, society puts pressure on us to get married or have kids by a certain time. We have to unthink all that and just allow things to progress naturally. It’s when we are not looking that we are able to accept GODs gift in the mate he sends.
I have to say that when a women is no longer in a relationship the worst things to say is, “You’re so pretty you will find another man soon, or You’re still young, someone else will come along. WTH? LOL. When your heart is broken it does not matter how pretty you are or if age is still on your side. When my heart was broken a few decades ago, my gf(s) made sure I was not alone and showered me with their love and getting me out the house. Girls night out is always a great stress reliever when “Debbie Downer(you)want to mope and have a pity party. Never under estimate the power of girlfriends. Sorry about the long comment, just wanted to make it known that things do get better.
I love to learned to love myself more than anyone else, other than my Heavenly Father. When you love and cherish yourself, you won’t cast your pearls before swine. Selah.
I agree with u guys attorney mom and Anna I think that’s the most imporant lesson I learned in life was to love me first. Anytime you love something more than yourself u will always subject yourself to foolishness. And Anna your right lovin the wrong person for the wrong reason another lesson learned I’m glad u and hubby are still makin I work..
i am in a deep mess right now, really hope i can pull through with all your kind words and advice, we have been apart for 2weeks now, we both dont know what is going on, scared to move on
Honey I’ve been there and done that, make a list and if the bad out way the good then keep on moving because here’s nothing like looking back and saying I should have would have could have when you can just do it know, you can stop by here I always have something to help you get through things. Stay bless