MassMedia ThrowBack Post: Daddy’s Little Girl

I was having a talk about missing fathers to a friend and I told her “What is your problem you grew up with your father” And she looked at me and said, “Yeah my father and mother was married but he was never home. He cheated on constantly and beat her;” she went on “He was never around. When I went to prom he was somewhere with his other woman when I wanted him to see me off.” She said, “I remember wanting him to meet my date and you know do the things that fathers should do but he was out in the streets. So even though my momma and daddy stayed together I feel just like you fatherless.”

I remember sitting to myself after just being beaten, he had beat me bad I had blood rushing from my head I knew I would need stitches. When I looked in the mirror all I could do was cry and wish I could call my dad to come and save me. But he wasn’t around and hadn’t been all my life, just in and out. I remember being so angry and secluded, I felt like I had no body to turn to but him and he wasn’t there. I was too scared to leave but didn’t want to stay. Of course I had uncles and cousins but in my mind I needed him and I felt hopeless and abandon.

It’s funny how two women from different walks of life can end up feeling the same way, fatherless. I cannot stress the importance of having a father in your life is needed as a woman. It’s so many misguided men and women in the world because their dad either skipped out are never stepped up. It’s a difference between being an active dad and a passing dad, yeah so you’re married to your kid’s mother. But if you’re treating her wrong or any woman wrong, it will reflect to your kids. Being gone all the time, cheating, beating on their mother, arguing and fighting. This funnels down to your daughters who assumes if momma put up with it, so should I. Well if my dad did it to my mother, than its okay for this man to hit me. Your sons will misuse women as well, thinking this is what men do. If you’re beating on there mother, more than likely they will feel like this is normal and the way things should go.

God placed men as the head to lead; it’s very vital that you lead by example. You have to show your daughters what it’s like to be loved by a man. If she doesn’t know she will fall for anything and have to learn as she goes. Is it fair that you leave your daughter hopeless and vulnerable to men praying on her weakness? I could remember him telling me “you don’t have a father” often or poking fun at me saying, “that’s why your dad skipped out on you.” All you can do is sit there and suck it up because at the end of the day it’s true.

How can your sons know how to treat a lady if you’re not showing them, or if you’re showing them all the wrong things? If they see you mistreating their mother they might develop hate in their heart towards you. It’s time for this terrible cycle to be broken, there’s so many young girls having babies who are misguided just wanting to be loved. We have to step up and break the cycle. Fella’s love your daughters—tell her she’s beautiful, take her out, and open her door, read books with her. Spend daddy—daughter time, take her on shopping sprees. Set a bar for her; let her know how a man is supposed to respect her. Let her know you will love her no matter what and as long as you live you will be there for her. Show her the way; be the first love of her life, don’t let a man on the streets be her first love. She needs you, women listen better to men it’s just a fact, a woman can tell another woman something and she will give her the side eye. But when a man tells a woman the same thing it’s like he just walked on water. This just shows you how strong of a presence man have in women lives no matter how much we don’t want to admit it. We need you, and your daughter needs you first she needs to know that she is Daddy’s little girl.

(On a side note: having kids is very serious and we as woman have to watch whom we lay down with and give babies to.)