MassMedia Throwback Post: The Father In You

I was commenting over at msbitchies house on Friday about how a men need to be the first love of there daughters life. But over the weekend I sat and thought to myself, why is our community’s relationship so full of drama, abuse and disrespect? Now I’m not saying that other community’s relationships don’t have the same problems but I only can speak from my point of view. I recall commenting about how women needed to go back to the old days and I remember getting chewed out. But on Friday she had a post from a brother saying the same things. Now the same women who bad mouthed me, where all singing amen to him, I was like for real now since this brother speaks we all listen?

But in reality women listen to men way more than they would a woman, we let them manipulate us, corrupt our mind, knock our self esteem down so low where we feel were worthless. Then we need them to build us up, tell us that were beautiful, we want them to love us and cherish us. We want men to understand us and respect us. We want them to treat us like queens and we NEED them no matter how much we yell we don’t need a man, we do!

Now my problem with men is the fact that men have fallen from what God has spoken for them to be, God created men first, for him to be the head, the leader, the protector, the hunter, and the provider. Then he created him a helpmate, a woman. Now first off when God create women he wrote in his word for men to love there wife’s as he loved the world. This means in my eyes, he wanted men to sacrifice for his family, nurture and take care of his flock. God did not put us on this earth to be abused, disrespected, manipulate, hurt, ran over, stomped down, deceived, cheated on and left feeling scorn.  God created us as a man’s helpmate to be his partner and to become one and grow.

I’m not man bashing, I know it’s some good brothers out there; I’m just trying to write a wake up call. It’s time to wake up; it’s time to step up. We need the father in you, the love that you give to your mother, the love you have for your sister, the unconditional love that you should have for your daughter.  We need to be loved the way you would want your mother, sister or daughter loved. Its mind blowing how many men hit women but when somebody hit’s there mother or sister there ready to strap up and go to war. Well your wife/girl is somebody’s sister, daughter and mother.  Why is it so hard to show the same respect? We need the same respect, Black men always want to holler about a angry Black woman, but why are the black men tearing there own sisters down? And if this post doesn’t pertain to you than don’t get mad, I’m just being real.

When will men understand that a woman needs them? But she doesn’t need to be abused; she doesn’t deserve to be disrespected. Of course relationships get hard, life is hard but the one person you should feel safe with, now we have to be scared of? I know that the main problem with our community and us is being fatherless. Were all out here trying to find the way, were all trying to figure out life, I know if your not taught than you have learn the way yourself. And the truth be told were all out here just learning as we go, but men need to step up. If you’re supposed to be the head and the leader than it’s time to step up. You have all the skills, so start being a man, a father lets start utilizing those skills, that maybe you were not taught but your old enough to understand them.  Lets start being a father to your kids, start loving your wife’s.

The way I look at it how could you show your daughter how to be treated if you’re disrespecting her mother? How can you show her what it is to be love by a man, when you don’t know how to love a woman yourself? What examples can you show her about how she should be treated if you’re out chasing women leaving her mother at home lonely? What are you showing her if you’re cheating and beating on her mother, it IS the father’s job to step up and treat his family right? (And when I say father I’m talking about being the father to the entire family including loving your wife like you love your kids.)

Fella’s start loving you wife/girls like you want your daughter to be love, because at the end of the day were all women and we all need the father in you.


Father in You – Mary J Blige Music Code