A friend of mine sent out a Twitter message asking the ladies “do you truly feel there aren’t many men on your level?” I thought “Yeah there are some dudes that are not on my level” I said “I would not talk to a drug dealer period; he’s not on my level.”
Some guys get upset when a woman says you’re not on my level, but I told him it has to be deeper than that. It has to be a reason why she is saying that, now granted I have heard women scream out I got my degree and career and I need a dude who’s on my level. I need a man who can bring just as much to the table as I can. He needs to have a degree, this and that and make a certain amount of money. Now I don’t think it’s wrong for a person to want what they want, we only have one life to live and we should live it like we want. Me personally when I say he’s not on my level, I speaking from a sense of drive. I don’t want a dude who is standing on the corner all day doing nothing, in my eyes he is not on my level. I don’t want a dude who is married and trying to holla at me with some lame azz lines, to me he is not on my level. I’m not stopping for a dude who’s screaming A shorty, that is unacceptable. I’m not going to date a drug dealer because he’s on and he has money, I’m better than that. So at the end of the day just because a woman says a man is not on her level doesn’t mean she’s stuck up, it’s a reason for her saying that.
Now as I said before some women do feel if a guy doesn’t have what she has than she’s moving on. I can’t knock her for feeling that way, it is what it is! I do feel that we as women shouldn’t knock a man down without knowing his story. We all weren’t raised with both parents, and some of us didn’t have any, it was just them and the streets. Everybody has a different story, and should be given a chance to express it. Sometimes college is not in a young man’s path, but that doesn’t mean it could never happen. I know we as women put up with a lot off of guys, so you can get to the point where you say “I’m not dealing with a man unless he has this, this and that.” I just feel that a degree doesn’t determine who that man is and his money doesn’t make him a better man either. My reality which may not be your reality is, I rather have a man who is disciplined, determine, respectful, honest, loyal, dedicated, hardworking, instilled with great values that loves and fears God first, over a man who has money and a degree but has ugly ways. Just because a man makes two or three dollars lesser than you doesn’t mean he isn’t a good man in my opinion. Men are not like us, when where eighteen where planning on moving out, but men hell they’ll stay in the basement as long as momma lets him. They work a job and get content with there life, even if they tell themselves there going to go back to school they put it off. It’s like going to the doctor most men will only go when something is about to fall off. And that’s why God create us so we can give them a push and motivate them into greatness. In any relationship rather it’s straight or gay there’s always a person playing a woman’s role. Even if it’s two men one of them is being the woman in that relationship, because we are needed. Maybe the guy that’s making three dollars lesser than you has all the right qualities you need in a man. Maybe he has been telling himself he was going back to school but just never followed through. Now he meets you and you make him want to do better, you motivated him to go ahead and do it. There’s no telling were that love could end up right? But at the end of the day we all want what we want and there’s nothing wrong with that.
So I think men need to understand where that woman is coming from when she say’s he’s not on my level. Just because most men like anything with a big butt and a coon doesn’t mean we as woman shouldn’t have standards right?
nicole
Comment made on May 20, 2009 @ 6:10 pm
every one should have standard and requirements of what they want from the opposite sex (and for some the same sex get down how you will)you have to set boundries because it is a old saying but it is the realest shyt ive ever heard if you dont stand for something you will fall for anything you never under any circumstance bring your standards down to fit some one in your life they either fit or they dont when you start chopping away at what your requirements are for a mate and start excepting what you know wont make you happy then thats when the problems starts alot of people men and women get it twist when you say your not on my level its not about the money you make and the cars you drive its not about buying up the bar or name dropping its not about nothing thats materalistic thats why you work to get your own dollas so you can buy yo own shyt now i do believe that you do have to be bring something productive to the table you gotta have some direction with your life and that plan must be in effect now not talking about whatcha gonna do and still hugging the block in the meantime every woman should feel that a man should see it as a privelege and a honor to be with her and you have to screen his ass to make sure he belongs there when you start looking at a man for what he is and not what he has you will see the real person and then and only then will you know if he is truly on your level.
Anna
Comment made on May 22, 2009 @ 12:26 am
This is like youre writing this article just for me! my daughter only wants a man on her level, which is a good thing I raised her to have standards and pride in herself, but shes not hearing me when I say sometimes you have to think out of the box,if a man is hardworking respectful, honest etc, you shouldnt overlook the brother because he makes less than you. College isnt for everyone, and I’d rather have a good man, versus a man with a degree and a good income who treats me like shit
Nichelle
Comment made on May 22, 2009 @ 6:55 am
I agree because everybody has a story and everyone has a chance to grow
Yolanda
Comment made on June 1, 2009 @ 10:55 am
That is so true! I realized how self defeating I was by ruling out men w/o a degree. Blame it on my naivety. However, when I say someone is not on my level, I can make that blanket statement in regards to their spirituality, aspirations, etc.
Nichelle
Comment made on June 1, 2009 @ 12:03 pm
right I agree totally.
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Pingback made on July 29, 2009 @ 10:31 am
[...] not on my level” and I told him not to take offense to that. I wrote about this in my post Your not on my level. It’s not that all women feel that they are better than a black men or men in general [...]
Mizz Dallas
Comment made on February 9, 2010 @ 9:08 am
I agree with Anna, especially when its 42% successful black woman who are NOT married with no kids so Im for one will be dating outside the box
jailhouse
Comment made on February 11, 2010 @ 1:08 pm
i always say put just about any woman in da room with me and ill pull her..believe it my words to every chick i talk to love me now hate me later..they always end up hating me and guess what i don’t care cause i told u so….why don’t u like a drug dealer? god made everybody a different way it aint ment for everybody to work a 9-5 and it aint meant for everybody to attend school etc..just because he or she sell drugs don’t make them a bad person..some ppl just trying to feed their family they have no other choice..i made that choice years ago but after that god made a better way for me and i took it and ran with it..it’s not what you do it’s how u do it..don’t miss out on some good being judgemental
Nichelle
Comment made on February 11, 2010 @ 1:51 pm
I do agree with the being judgemental
dee
Comment made on February 12, 2010 @ 2:40 pm
I’m one of those who found out college was not for me..But went on to become successful at what I do..I work my way up within a company in a very short time…Both of my children are now in college and love it, So they see both sides.
Nichelle
Comment made on February 12, 2010 @ 3:01 pm
Jailhouse I just read your comment, I will not date a drug dealer because, one I am a mother who is raising a son. I have no place to be invovled with a man who does such things. Two, I am not a ride or die I will not do your jailtime and what not. In fact whatever you don’t want the police to know you better not tell me because I letting it all ride if I have to. I believe in struggle and men that make bad choices and I also believe you can not change a person, if that is the way he is living there is nothing you can do about it. That life is dangerous and can end up with me or my kids dead, that’s for them young girls I am a grown woman. I didn’t say a changed man, but a man who I clearly know is breaking laws I will not get entangled with.