A Open Letter To A Young Sister

I remember when I was young once; it’s actually not to long ago I was a teenager about 12 years ago. Was I wild no, did I do things I regret, yes. Did I smoke and drink, no. Have I done anything that I am ashamed of yes. Was I promiscuous no, did I back talk my momma? Once I did when I started to smell myself and once she put that azz beating on me that never happened again. Was I fast, no, did I have sex with anybody in my high school no; in fact my ex-boyfriend Jevon didn’t attend Hill Crest when we dated. However there’s not one boy in Hill Crest that can claim they had sex with me, in fact nobody from my old hood either. As a grown woman who is almost kissing 30 (not there yet) I can still count on one hand how many men I gave my body to.  I was never fast or wild, I never snuck out the house and smoked and partied. Does that make me better than anybody else, NO. I didn’t give my mother those types of problems because she didn’t play with my sister and I. I also had great, uncles, aunts, cousins, family friends and a great pastor who taught us the right things. Even when we didn’t want to hear what they were saying~~ the message given was the truth. I believe back in the day when I grew up it was called the power of prayer. The bible tells us to “train a child in the way they should go and it shall not part them” and it’s the truth. Even when we do things wrong as adults we know we are wrong because we were trained the right way and we know better.  I wrote this blog post http://nwmasssmedia.com/2009/04/perception-is-everything/ and a young lady responded to my post in this manner read below,

“u were probably doing the same thing when u were younger. i luv how adults “women” do shiz when theyre our age and turn around and be hypocrites and say “dont do this”. yeah right.

Exactly, you admit to doing whatever it was you were doing when you were younger, yet now youre saying dont do it. and in my book, thats called a Hypocrite with a capital H.”

Now firstly I want to touch bases on the word Hypocrite now I don’t know if you truly know the definition to the word so I will give it to you below,

1: a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion?2: a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings via Webster

Now a person who acts in contradiction, is not the same as a person who acknowledges a past; in fact the word contradiction means: a situation in which inherent factors, actions, or propositions are inconsistent or contrary to one another. So to contradict yourself or be a Hypocrite you have to be a person who is currently living a different life than you preach, like a preacher that has a wife and a baby momma is a Hypocrite. So I hope you can understand the meaning of the words you choose to make the things you are doing better.

Now I wanted to let you know if somebody is giving you a word of advice you should listen, however you don’t have to. My momma always told me “a hard head makes a soft azz” and I didn’t understand that until I got older. Nobodies walk in life is perfect, and yes there are women who have done things wrong in the past and now tell you differently. These women are telling you there regret that has nothing to do with being a Hypocrite, you can learn from other people downfalls. You don’t have to touch the fire to know it’s hot. If somebody is telling you something right please take it into consideration.

Messages are very powerful and they can change your life, please receive them. We need more powerful massages like the message of a young woman named Ms. Marvelyn Brown. She penned a novel titled, The Naked Truth (please read) the story is about her catching aids at 19.  Should this young woman skip going back into her community and spreading her message? Should she not let young girls know her downfall and how she could have prevented it? Does this make this young woman a Hypocrite? I think not, her words are real and her message is much needed.  Sweetheart understand you don’t know everything and neither do I. I still seek advice because I am still growing as a woman, as a mother, as a friend; I still need direction at times. Listening is a virtue many of us need to embrace.

I pour my heart out on this blog in every reality post, and I am not ashamed of who I am or where I came from. I wish I had a different outlet of truth outside of my mother growing up. When your mother tells you right, you feel she is wrong and trying to control you. You feel like she’s old and doesn’t know what she is talking about. You feel like your old enough to make your own mind up and if your wrong fluck it “I am still young.”

Baby girl life does not work like that; the road into womanhood is very hard and will get shaky. There’s nothing easy in this world, once you get older you have bills, and everything under the sun to worry about.  What you see on TV is not real, the struggles are never made light of, this world is cold and it ain’t fair. If a older more experienced woman is telling you something, she is telling it to you for a reason. She probably has been there and done that, and please believe me the game is still the same, the only thing that changes is the years.

I just want to leave you with this message, and it’s up to you to receive it.  Your walk into womanhood can be ruff~~ life isn’t easy. Certain situations you end up in will have you questioning your values and morals. Your faith will be tested, sometimes you can feel all alone, and sometimes you will feel like the world has turned it’s back on you. Sometimes you can do things that your too ashamed to tell anyone else, sometimes you wont even have twenty dollars in your pockets or money to get to work.  That fairytale you had planned out for your life can turn into a nightmare and your left trying to figure out the way. Life’s a Bish and one thing for sure; life isn’t the cakewalk you see on TV.

That baller your chasing down might use you up and throw you to the side. Or maybe the clothes he bought you or the money you might get makes him feel like he owns you. So now he controls you like a slave and you deal with it because you have no other way to maintain. Education is such a powerful tool, get educated and respect yourself because you are worth it.

The only way to grow in life is~~ listening, receiving, adhering, understanding, praying, working hard then working even harder, knowing yourself, respecting yourself, loving yourself and knowing your self worth.

I want to extend an open invitation to join my goodgirlzclub; it will be up in full effect in the upcoming weeks. You will receive a vision board, a diary, a t-shirt and planner. I will look forward to seeing you enter the club and finish with great things accomplished.

Much Love To You,

Nichelle Walker