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Keys: Reality Blogging, RelationshipsOct212009
Faded Pictures And Broken Dreams
Written by Nichelle at 12:49 pm
I was roaming through my drafts and I came across this post I typed at the beginning of this year. I never posted it but I figured I would go ahead today because we all have faded pictures and broken dreams. When you hook up with someone you feel like it’s going to be forever and never look for things going bad. But somehow the picture that once was so clear becomes blurry. The dreams of a white picket fence becomes broken and you sit somewhere in limbo wondering how everything went so bad. Was it me, was it them, was it us? You try to pace yourself and retrace your steps back to the good times. But somehow you get lost in a maze of bad times and you feel trapped, so what do you do? You have a family now; you have all these years all your young years invested into this person. Do you pick up your things and run away and turn your back on your family? Hell I can’t call it for everybody~ but for me, hanging on to nothing turns into nothing. No matter how many years, how many kids or how many bills you have with a person; that will not make them want you or treat you right. It will only make them believe you’re not going anywhere and that they can treat you any type of way because you will always be there. I don’t even know if people learned their lesson when you forgive them, to me I feel like they see it as a sign of weakness. Instead of them counting their lucky stars they’re feeling like “shyt I got away with it, next time I’ma be more careful.”
I don’t know but it never amazes me how when a person messes up in a relationship there all of sudden going to get there shyt together. Now instead of treating you like crap there all of a sudden going to change their ways and do right. How is it that all of the cries and pleads before got ignored? Why is it when you’re leaving they find God and promise to be right? Then when you don’t buy it~ you’re the bad guy, you’re the one who’s wrong because you won’t work things out?
I sit and write daily on my blog and I try to be fair and keep it real, I try to touch issues that affect everybody in every aspect of life. This topic is so dear to me because I’m going through it, I don’t mind writing my confessions because if I can dish it I should be able to take it.
I feel like once the rain dries up you can start seeing clearly about the things and situations that’s going on in your life. My thing about forgiveness is it easy to forgive a person but it’s damn hard to forget about it. Once a person hurts you bad it’s not easy to forget about it, even if you stay around to make things work out it’s always in your mind somewhere. You get tired, worn, and burnt out from putting up with crap. I can’t understand why only when they do wrong they want to holler I’m going to change, I’ll listen, I’ll be right— well I feel like this,
You should have listened, when I told you I was feeling neglected and mistreated.
You should have listened, when I said I wasn’t going keep holding on.
You should have listened, when I told you I was tired of being sick and tried.
You should have listen, when I told you I had my bags pack and one foot out the door.
You should have listened, when I cried out to you, but you turned and walked away.
You should have listened, when I begged you to stop messing around.
You should have listened, when I told you I was feeling unappreciated.
You should have listened, when I said I needed more lovin.
You should have listened, when I was screaming what about being faithful, what about the children, what about me.
You should have listened, when I asked you to change but you told me I was nagging you (you remember that?).
Now you want to listen, I knew the only way you would listen is when I got missing on your azz. Telling me you thought my love was deeper than that, that I would always have your back. I told ya azz once I hit the road I ain’t never coming back. 12 years, two kids, bills and too many tears then you fix your lips to tell me my love wasn’t deep. But the truth is if you ain’t never really loved me. The truth is if you would’ve taken care of home instead of leaving me alone, I still would be right there with you taking care of you; steady loving you like I use to do. I heard a wise man tell me the truth hurts and sometimes it’s too hard to swallow. When you’re in a relationship you have three options~ put up, shut up or let it all go. Well I let it all go because I know the truth about folks.
People don’t miss a good thing until it’s gone. Folks don’t see clearly until they reached out for that person and they no longer can touch them. Just a rant of mine, ladies and gents never let anyone take you for granted. Never treat anyone better than you will treat yourself, because one thing for sure you came in this world by yourself and you will leave here by yourself. So love yourself, cherish yourself, respect yourself because what I’ve learned is, if you don’t treat yourself good the next person won’t either.
Thanks For listening
Nichelle
Dont Miss A Good Thing - 3 Piece
posted in Reality Blogging,Relationships-
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41 Comments to “Can Men Be FaithFul”
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98% of men cheat? Wow, that’s a big percent. Now, I’m with you Nichelle. Don’t put me in a threesome that I didn’t know or want to be in. It disgusting and dangerous. Now men have to take resposibility for their actions and I agree that saying “men will be men” is just an excuse. Not all men desire to cheat.
I hope you find love again and allow a man to love you in the right way. Based on what I know about your ex from what you have shared I dont feel you have truly been loved.
I know I am open/ready for LOVE and it is avoiding me like the damn plague but I am still holding out HOPE!!
I will NOT give up!!
A man/woman who wants to be faithful will be!
where is she getting this ridiculous statistic?
can women be faithful?
where they at?
@Zillz some not all but in my opinion the cheating women get the good faithful men for some reason
@zillz, I’m not speaking on all woman but yes I can be faithful. I have no desire to cheat. I have no desire to see another person hurt and wounded and bitter because of my selfish decision to cheat. Why can’t some men think the same way? Because they think they can get away with it.
That percentage is high as hell. She should have said 98% of the men she dated has cheated on her. When you have never been in a relationship with a good man I guess its easier to blame the entire male population than to blame yourself.
I agree but that’s how most women think, you know I can truly say I don’t know one woman who has not been cheated on.. one
I agree both men and women do/can cheat and more women have started to cheat over the last few yrs IMO (just an observation I noticed). Women use to cheat as payback but nowadays women will cheat if the s*x is wack or what have you.
Men/women who choose to will be cheating until the end of time. That doesnt mean every man/women will or wants to. Black men can be as faitful as they want to be.
well contrary to popular belief…women cheat more than men do…so lets focus on that instead of why everyday the men ain’t shit saga that continues to plague everybody’s conscience. Can we make a post about that???
There are other issues in relationships other than cheating.
First off I don’t think men cheat to hurt the woman they are cheating on. If that was the case they wouldn’t lie and sneak to keep it from you.
Cheating really has nothing to do with us women most of the time which is why they don’t leave and just do them. A guy once said its like having an itch. Once you scratch it, its done.
I really don’t know why men cheat and I don’t think you should hinder yourself from falling in love thinking about it. Put it in Gods hand and keep the faith. If it doesn’t work out just be comforted with the fact that you did your best.
Who said men aint jack or is male bashing? I thought we were having a convo? I support my brothers and black love. You can find a stat to prove just about any point which is why I dont get caught up in stats *shrug*
Yes I do believe that if a man wanted to he could be faithful however, where in the hell are the ones that want to? i mean everything starts out great then big booty Judy comes along and his focus gets lost. I think sometimes people do wrong things because they feel they will get away with it. Sometimes they’re just doing the shyt to be doing it, just cause…until they get caught then they want to cry a river.
I believe you lay down and plan on leaving it as that but if it’s good you double back, then back and then your liv ing a double life before you know it…
@ Zillz I will post about them #hoshyt tomorrow titled “Why men love ho’s so much” lmfao
@Vi…I agree with u. Those numbers are high and I use to think that way until I meet my bf. Not saying he won’t….but that’s not what I sit around wondering and thinking about. We enjoy each other.
Nichelle- hopefully that person will come.
I am not man bashing just talking about what’s on my mind I said most not all, I believe it’s a few of them who want to make it to heaven. And I know women cheat just as much, and unlike others I don’t believe women cheat because they are push. I believe some cheat because they are >>> that’s all…. I don’t think it is ever a reason to cheat….Just talking about whats on my mind. Not trying to clown all brothers in the world, and not putting a color on it…..because in the past years you had black men, white men, asian men, get caught cheating…
yet no one has caught a woman cheating sigh I guess where just better at it …. I mean the ones who do…..
Men cheating is not a “new” thing. I don’t understand why the hell they put Tiger country ass on blast when it didn’t start with nor will it end with him. If anything, I think men are going to get better at it. Be more clever and try to hide it better. Nichelle, I don’t know a woman that hasn’t been cheated on either. Those woman I know are the most bitter woman I know. But I hope you don’t give up on love. He’s out there. I don’t where to tell you to find him though. I used to say you could find him in the church but ummm, yea, you know how that goes. LOL
Right them be the worse ones, clapping there hands knowing there on they’re way to bust down once they drop the fam off at home.
woman do some ho shyt too! as a matter of fact, like someone said in another post, woman who cheat have good husbands, I know for a fact that atleast 7 of my friend girls who are married that are cheating on there husbands, why? I dont know , heck they been hoes, man love to marry hoes in try to turn them into housewives smdh…
I agree partially with iscream when she said that man dont cheat to hurt us but I also believed that some man only cheat because of what some woman allow to happen.. Alot of woman know their man is cheating but choose to ignore it or except it!
@daisy
me and you are >>>>here<<<<< I still have HOPE too!
The ones in the church or either gay, dl fags & real Hoes! I cant stand when my mama always say girl you need to find you a man in the church! lol! and I politely tell her I dont want a man from the church, I seen way too much and know way too much about the “man in the church or the churchman”
oh Nichelle I havent been cheated on not that I know but then again I havent been in that many relationships neither! but at the sametime I feel empathy for those who have been cheated on thats something I wouldnt wish on my enemy!
I agree women can do some hoshyt and guess what the men know and love them still
well at least I can say I know one women who haven’t
and I only had two relationships my entire life my high school relationship lasted 2 years and I had no clue of cheating but my adult relationship please……
Heaven? Nichelle I hope that was a joke. If men won’t get into Heaven for cheating then we all are going to Hell because we all sin. *shrugs*
Heaven? what are you talking about?
Not all church men or women are hoes/gay/dl lol I know plenty of straight single and married church men that I don’t think are suspect or gay. Those type of me do exist but that’s not all of them. I do need/require a man of God we must be on the same page spiritually that’s a must for me.
That’s exactly what they want you to believe. Not all men cheat, they just want to you to think that so if it should happen you’ll fell like you won’t have any other options (ala going from man to man). Women want other women to believe that because, well, misery loves company.
First off if you’re going to a church where dl, fags, homos, trannies and harlots are in drobes running rampant and free ya need to find another church home ASAP!!! That preacher ain’t saving nuttin but the money in his account.
Second of all stop focusing on the negative and start working on the positives. I dunno if my bfs cheated on me or not but I always broke it off because they weren’t on my level. I was ontothenextone! Women stop oozing deperation. For some reason men can smell it from a mile away and even alittle bit would show and he would exploit that little mother until it bleeds. More women need to learn how to court. Don’t start shacking with him or falling in love with him so fast that’s setting yourself for failure. Have that man work for you not the other way around. Women don’t let the men work for them anymore and wondering why they so shocked that the men don’t want them. He didn’t want you in the first place! You didn’t allow him to show his cards but called his bluff. I ain’t NEVER sitting around on my ass wondering about any nigga that ain’t worried about me. BOTTOM LINE!!!
I’m only worried about the men who wants me versus the ones who didn’t. I believe men cheat because for the most part it just sex. It depends on you how the dynamics of the relationship would go because men pick and women chooses.
YES MEN CAN BE FAITHFUL *SMH*
IF WOMEN WERENT SO LOOSE AND GAVE IT UP TO EVERYMAN WHO BOUGHT THEM A LOUIS SOCIETY WOULD BE A LOT BETTER, A MAN WILL LET YOU DO WHAT YOU ALLOW HIM TO DO, AND A LOT OF THESE WHORES RUIN IT FOR YOU BLACK WOMEN AND THE DL FAGS TOO. BUT A LOT OF TIMES PEOPLE ARE IN SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS AND THE WOMEN WILL GET ATTACHED WHEN THE MAN WONT, BOTH PARTIES NEED TO MAKE THEIR INTENTIONS CLEAR FROM THE GET GO IMO
I agree Charles you always keep it funky
And ultimatley if a man wants to be with you he will respect YOU and your BOUNDARIES, people say dont give it up for a reason because it will CHEAPEN you in a mans eyes. Im not saying yall cant fool around but if you fucking after knownign each other for 3 weeks and think he fittin to wife you and buy you a 5 series, you lost your damn mind. Know who you sleep with and know yourself
I agree again Charles
you better preach! charles
My husband grew up in one church, his parents still attend that same church. I do not believe that all men cheat, just as much as I don’t believe that all women are faithful.
I try and I try but nopeeee.
at least your honest :} But I will say this Jailhouse you will never give up on getting money, if you hustle quit working you’ll figure out a new way right? The same thing goes for relationship, you have to stay displine and figure out different ways to keep you faithful
Nichelle I don’t think that will ever happen i have a problem with just being with one woman i have tried hard..i always tell women i aint made to love..love me now hate me later…women are more trifflin then us men now of days and that’s real talk.
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