My Venting Session ~ Still Hurting

Last night I was going through one of my emotional spells before I laid my head down to rest. I couldn’t help but let the tears fall down on my pillow as I cried myself to sleep. Sometimes I go through these spells of regret, hurt and resentment. I try to be strong but some nights I can’t help but wonder how I let my life go by. I just lay there wondering how I ended up on this side of the expressway. It’s like my life traveled so fast and now I’m stuck in limbo. I try not to sit around feeling sorry for myself; I know you can’t sit in the past but I just can’t help it some day’s. It’s not easy seeing everything you built crumble down to nothing. Even with me accepting my own part in my downfall it still doesn’t make it easier to get past. I don’t know what I have to do but some days I’m fine, some days I cry, some days I laugh and some days I hurt real bad. I just don’t understand why my personal life had to turn out so fluck up. I feel like I did all the right things and still ended up with the short end of the stick. I don’t know if it hurts me more because I don’t have anybody to talk to about it. When I speak to my ex about it, he gets mad and tells me he doesn’t want to hear it. He yells that I’m stuck in the past and I need to get over it. In honesty I don’t know what good it will do me to keep talking about it but some days I feel like talking about it. I just can’t get past how I dedicated twelve long years of my life faithfully to him. I never had another boyfriend, never had another relationship just him. I know as the days go on God will touch my heart and one day it wont even matter anymore. I just feel like nobody knows how I feel; it’s so easy to tell somebody to get over something when it’s not you going through it. I just pray for peace, strength and healing. I guess sometimes love doesn’t have your back like you wanted it to, that’s why I don’t want any parts of it ever again.

Thanks for listening I had to vent so excuse me for writing my sob story but I needed to express how I feel.

Beside this my damn blog I can do what I wanna lol.