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Keys: Reality Blogging, RelationshipsNov252009
Teach Me How To Love You
Written by Nichelle at 2:29 pm
Okay we’ve all been there at least once, this thing called love filled our lives and some of us have had really good experiences and some us have not been so lucky. My take on this relationship thing is that you have to be willing, open, patience and ready. I feel we sometimes forget that we all were brought up differently; we all weren’t raised with the same morals, values, standards and ethics. With me growing as a woman I can now see that it’s not all a bad thing mating with someone with a different up bringing. But there is a fine line that needs to be drawn about what you will and wont accept.
What we have to understand that everybody wasn’t raised with a mother, some of us didn’t have a father to teach us right from wrong. A lot of men are really out here trying to find their way, there out here seeking a path to greatness. Most of them don’t know how or where to start to love a woman because they were never taught. Men are raised to conquer and defeat I don’t raise my son this way, to me raising our boys this way is wrong and it will not help them deal with emotions. From the time there little we say things like “your going to be a heartbreaker” and we rear them up to be cute and on the lose. If they have a father he usually teaches him to get as many women as he can before he settles down. Sounds like a good idea however the problem comes in when he doesn’t know when to stop or even how. If we don’t teach our children how to deal with emotions when it’s time to show them they don’t know how. Life is not a big picnic where you eat good and have fun everyday, life is real and it’s very hard sometimes.
When we become adults we take our upbringing into our relationships, we even sometimes wish for a marriage like our parents. We look at them are our grandparents and try to mimic what they have. But the truth is you have to make your relationship your own. You can not look to anyone for an example because we all are different people. The chances are, you will never find a man like your dad, or women like your mother. We have to really realize that everyone is built up differently; we speak, walk and talk all differently. Searching for someone like what you had once before or your parents will not work. I feel like we have to teach the right person how to love us if there willing to learn. You can have a great man, who is bad in the bed or maybe he doesn’t know how to express himself to you. Instead of throwing your hands up you have to work with them and show them the way. I know some of us feel like you don’t have time to train/raise a grown person. We feel like “there already grown they should know” however that is not always the truth some of them don’t know how. They might really want to learn but they don’t know where to start. They weren’t raised up the same way as you; they didn’t see love or was taught it’s okay to show emotions. This could be the case, however there is a fine line that doesn’t need to be crossed when working with someone.
If a person is willing and showing improvement I’m all for it, however there are some people who are stuck in there ways. They will not change no matter how you try to work with them. Those are the type of people you kept it moving from. I mean the same goes for women, sometimes we where brought up by our mothers only and we become very strong headed and controlling. We don’t know how to fall back and let a man be a man because we are scared of giving in. We don’t want to be hurt, our mothers have instilled in us that men aren’t shyt. So when we have somebody no matter how good he is, it’s still planted in our heads so we do let him all the way in. This doesn’t make her a bad woman, if she opens up to you and tells you she wants to learn be patience with her. Of course it would be a much easier if everything about life was written in black and white but it’s not. We all are learning as we walk in life some things should be known and are inexcusable in my book. Beating on a woman or even cheating is wrong and you should know better than to hurt anyone you care about.
I feel if your looking for the perfect man or woman you will always be looking because there is no such thing. You have to be willing to teach a person something’s about you and you can grow together.
Musiq Soulchild - Teach me - Musiq Soulchild
posted in Reality Blogging-
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39 Comments to “Can Men Be FaithFul”
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98% of men cheat? Wow, that’s a big percent. Now, I’m with you Nichelle. Don’t put me in a threesome that I didn’t know or want to be in. It disgusting and dangerous. Now men have to take resposibility for their actions and I agree that saying “men will be men” is just an excuse. Not all men desire to cheat.
I hope you find love again and allow a man to love you in the right way. Based on what I know about your ex from what you have shared I dont feel you have truly been loved.
I know I am open/ready for LOVE and it is avoiding me like the damn plague but I am still holding out HOPE!!
I will NOT give up!!
A man/woman who wants to be faithful will be!
where is she getting this ridiculous statistic?
can women be faithful?
where they at?
@Zillz some not all but in my opinion the cheating women get the good faithful men for some reason
@zillz, I’m not speaking on all woman but yes I can be faithful. I have no desire to cheat. I have no desire to see another person hurt and wounded and bitter because of my selfish decision to cheat. Why can’t some men think the same way? Because they think they can get away with it.
That percentage is high as hell. She should have said 98% of the men she dated has cheated on her. When you have never been in a relationship with a good man I guess its easier to blame the entire male population than to blame yourself.
I agree but that’s how most women think, you know I can truly say I don’t know one woman who has not been cheated on.. one
I agree both men and women do/can cheat and more women have started to cheat over the last few yrs IMO (just an observation I noticed). Women use to cheat as payback but nowadays women will cheat if the s*x is wack or what have you.
Men/women who choose to will be cheating until the end of time. That doesnt mean every man/women will or wants to. Black men can be as faitful as they want to be.
well contrary to popular belief…women cheat more than men do…so lets focus on that instead of why everyday the men ain’t shit saga that continues to plague everybody’s conscience. Can we make a post about that???
There are other issues in relationships other than cheating.
First off I don’t think men cheat to hurt the woman they are cheating on. If that was the case they wouldn’t lie and sneak to keep it from you.
Cheating really has nothing to do with us women most of the time which is why they don’t leave and just do them. A guy once said its like having an itch. Once you scratch it, its done.
I really don’t know why men cheat and I don’t think you should hinder yourself from falling in love thinking about it. Put it in Gods hand and keep the faith. If it doesn’t work out just be comforted with the fact that you did your best.
Who said men aint jack or is male bashing? I thought we were having a convo? I support my brothers and black love. You can find a stat to prove just about any point which is why I dont get caught up in stats *shrug*
Yes I do believe that if a man wanted to he could be faithful however, where in the hell are the ones that want to? i mean everything starts out great then big booty Judy comes along and his focus gets lost. I think sometimes people do wrong things because they feel they will get away with it. Sometimes they’re just doing the shyt to be doing it, just cause…until they get caught then they want to cry a river.
I believe you lay down and plan on leaving it as that but if it’s good you double back, then back and then your liv ing a double life before you know it…
@ Zillz I will post about them #hoshyt tomorrow titled “Why men love ho’s so much” lmfao
@Vi…I agree with u. Those numbers are high and I use to think that way until I meet my bf. Not saying he won’t….but that’s not what I sit around wondering and thinking about. We enjoy each other.
Nichelle- hopefully that person will come.
I am not man bashing just talking about what’s on my mind I said most not all, I believe it’s a few of them who want to make it to heaven. And I know women cheat just as much, and unlike others I don’t believe women cheat because they are push. I believe some cheat because they are >>> that’s all…. I don’t think it is ever a reason to cheat….Just talking about whats on my mind. Not trying to clown all brothers in the world, and not putting a color on it…..because in the past years you had black men, white men, asian men, get caught cheating…
yet no one has caught a woman cheating sigh I guess where just better at it …. I mean the ones who do…..
Men cheating is not a “new” thing. I don’t understand why the hell they put Tiger country ass on blast when it didn’t start with nor will it end with him. If anything, I think men are going to get better at it. Be more clever and try to hide it better. Nichelle, I don’t know a woman that hasn’t been cheated on either. Those woman I know are the most bitter woman I know. But I hope you don’t give up on love. He’s out there. I don’t where to tell you to find him though. I used to say you could find him in the church but ummm, yea, you know how that goes. LOL
Right them be the worse ones, clapping there hands knowing there on they’re way to bust down once they drop the fam off at home.
woman do some ho shyt too! as a matter of fact, like someone said in another post, woman who cheat have good husbands, I know for a fact that atleast 7 of my friend girls who are married that are cheating on there husbands, why? I dont know , heck they been hoes, man love to marry hoes in try to turn them into housewives smdh…
I agree partially with iscream when she said that man dont cheat to hurt us but I also believed that some man only cheat because of what some woman allow to happen.. Alot of woman know their man is cheating but choose to ignore it or except it!
@daisy
me and you are >>>>here<<<<< I still have HOPE too!
The ones in the church or either gay, dl fags & real Hoes! I cant stand when my mama always say girl you need to find you a man in the church! lol! and I politely tell her I dont want a man from the church, I seen way too much and know way too much about the “man in the church or the churchman”
oh Nichelle I havent been cheated on not that I know but then again I havent been in that many relationships neither! but at the sametime I feel empathy for those who have been cheated on thats something I wouldnt wish on my enemy!
I agree women can do some hoshyt and guess what the men know and love them still
well at least I can say I know one women who haven’t
and I only had two relationships my entire life my high school relationship lasted 2 years and I had no clue of cheating but my adult relationship please……
Heaven? Nichelle I hope that was a joke. If men won’t get into Heaven for cheating then we all are going to Hell because we all sin. *shrugs*
Heaven? what are you talking about?
Not all church men or women are hoes/gay/dl lol I know plenty of straight single and married church men that I don’t think are suspect or gay. Those type of me do exist but that’s not all of them. I do need/require a man of God we must be on the same page spiritually that’s a must for me.
That’s exactly what they want you to believe. Not all men cheat, they just want to you to think that so if it should happen you’ll fell like you won’t have any other options (ala going from man to man). Women want other women to believe that because, well, misery loves company.
First off if you’re going to a church where dl, fags, homos, trannies and harlots are in drobes running rampant and free ya need to find another church home ASAP!!! That preacher ain’t saving nuttin but the money in his account.
Second of all stop focusing on the negative and start working on the positives. I dunno if my bfs cheated on me or not but I always broke it off because they weren’t on my level. I was ontothenextone! Women stop oozing deperation. For some reason men can smell it from a mile away and even alittle bit would show and he would exploit that little mother until it bleeds. More women need to learn how to court. Don’t start shacking with him or falling in love with him so fast that’s setting yourself for failure. Have that man work for you not the other way around. Women don’t let the men work for them anymore and wondering why they so shocked that the men don’t want them. He didn’t want you in the first place! You didn’t allow him to show his cards but called his bluff. I ain’t NEVER sitting around on my ass wondering about any nigga that ain’t worried about me. BOTTOM LINE!!!
I’m only worried about the men who wants me versus the ones who didn’t. I believe men cheat because for the most part it just sex. It depends on you how the dynamics of the relationship would go because men pick and women chooses.
YES MEN CAN BE FAITHFUL *SMH*
IF WOMEN WERENT SO LOOSE AND GAVE IT UP TO EVERYMAN WHO BOUGHT THEM A LOUIS SOCIETY WOULD BE A LOT BETTER, A MAN WILL LET YOU DO WHAT YOU ALLOW HIM TO DO, AND A LOT OF THESE WHORES RUIN IT FOR YOU BLACK WOMEN AND THE DL FAGS TOO. BUT A LOT OF TIMES PEOPLE ARE IN SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS AND THE WOMEN WILL GET ATTACHED WHEN THE MAN WONT, BOTH PARTIES NEED TO MAKE THEIR INTENTIONS CLEAR FROM THE GET GO IMO
I agree Charles you always keep it funky
And ultimatley if a man wants to be with you he will respect YOU and your BOUNDARIES, people say dont give it up for a reason because it will CHEAPEN you in a mans eyes. Im not saying yall cant fool around but if you fucking after knownign each other for 3 weeks and think he fittin to wife you and buy you a 5 series, you lost your damn mind. Know who you sleep with and know yourself
I agree again Charles
you better preach! charles
My husband grew up in one church, his parents still attend that same church. I do not believe that all men cheat, just as much as I don’t believe that all women are faithful.
I try and I try but nopeeee.
at least your honest :} But I will say this Jailhouse you will never give up on getting money, if you hustle quit working you’ll figure out a new way right? The same thing goes for relationship, you have to stay displine and figure out different ways to keep you faithful
Nichelle I don’t think that will ever happen i have a problem with just being with one woman i have tried hard..i always tell women i aint made to love..love me now hate me later…women are more trifflin then us men now of days and that’s real talk.