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Jan282010
A Dose Of Reality: Pain Isn’t Love
Written by Nichelle at 2:39 pm
What you want might make you cry, What you need might pass you by, If you don’t catch it, If you don’t catch it, And what you need ironically
Will turn out what you want to be, If you just let it, If you just let it ~~ Lauryn HillI often wonder why people say, Pain Is Love I don’t believe that at all. Pain isn’t love; pain is pain. Usually when you’re in pain your hurting are going through a healing stage of some kind. So I can’t understand how we can foolishly trick ourselves into believing that pain is love. Pain is a form of struggle, and we all go through struggles in life, things we need to overcome. However if something is causing you pain wouldn’t you want to get rid of it? Not sit there and bare the pain and say this is life, this is how things supposed to be.
Love is a second hand emotion, an act that many of us have yet to master or understand what it means. We all define love differently, love will mean different things to all of us, and no matter what we feel love should be the next person will see it differently. Some people believe love is just having someone to claim them while some feel love is having a person to share their life with. I could be all day breaking down the many takes on love but its only one true meaning. I can’t sit here and tell you I know what the true meaning is. Like a lot of us I tricked myself into believing that love is pain when it isn’t.
There’s no way you can be deeply in love with a person who is hurting you, yes you can fool yourself into believing I love this man/woman. But do you really? You’re crying all the time, upset, angry, unhappy and stressed out. You can’t sleep or eat because you just want a change from them; you want that person to be who you want them to be, who you need them to be. You blind your eyes from all the truths that are in front of you because you swear by the saying Pain Is Love.
Please wake up and understand that love doesn’t involve pain, love is pure, and love is unselfish. We can say, when Jesus walked the earth he went through a lot of pain and he still loved us enough to die for our sins. Yes he did but he was pure, free of sin and had a clear purpose. He left a book behind that tells us what love is, he walked an unselfish journey here; how many people can say that? The blueprint is already designed but we don’t want to receive it. We rather do our own thing and make our own rules in this life. (Is this why we hurt)?
I’m not sitting here saying love doesn’t hurt, love doesn’t come with a struggle but loves doesn’t cause you pain. We cause ourselves pain believing in a love that doesn’t believe in us. I’ve come to realize what you want my might you cry and what you need WILL pass you by if you don’t catch it. If you are telling yourself pain is love please sit back and reevaluate what you are subjecting yourself to. Pain is pain and there’s no good feeling when you’re in pain; your sitting they’re looking for a way to get better.
In my book the only way to get over pain is to find the cause of it and get rid of it.
Don’t hang on to thoughts of what can be, but see things for what they are and go from there. Remember what you want might not be what you need and what you need can turn out to what you want it to be if you let it.
08 When It Hurts So Bad – Lauren Hill Music Code
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The problem is simply men don’t know who to be men and women don’t know how to be women. If they don’t know how to be the pure basics of themselves then how can they be something else?
What I mean is we as people go through stages throughout our lives mentally. We go through the infant stage, to the child stage, to the adolescent stage, to the young adult stage, to adult and etc. There are alot of people who’s growth got stunned at a stage so when physically their growing their mental didn’t catch up. As a result they act accordingly. It takes a real adult to really grasp the true concept of marriage because they have grown past thinking and acting like a buffoon and therefore acknowledges why marriage is important and cherishes it. They will only appreciate and see the beauty in marriage when they have seen marriage work and prospered in their early stages of their mental.
Alot of people have gone through tragic events in their life that have stunned their mental growth. They can’t conceptualize adult issues and ordeals because they have not pass that level yet or never. It really takes a real man and woman to withstand all a marriage contains because it is intense and forthgoing. It takes an adult to be not only responsible but to be secure with themselves and whole (not fragmented) because they are merging with each other to make one mind. That is one hellava thing to do and can you imagine a childlike or adolescent like do such a task?
I hope this isn’t confusing what I said but in a nutshell you can’t be a man doing a boy’s job or vice versa.
OMG I SO COSIGN YOU NICHELLE!!!
#COSIGNNNNNNNNNNN
BEING A MAN IS BEING A ADULT, A ADULT HAS A JOB AND PROVIDES, BOTTOM LINE!
i agree with you nichelle.
people keep defining what a man is and what a woman is.
no matter the opinion, at the end of the day whether he’s a king, president, homeless, a bum or a criminal…he’s a man. and same for women.
Very fitting on you to post the The Brokewives of Atlanta pic at the top! lmao
Back on topic: Some people dont get married for honest and truth & love anymore they get married for convienance, sad to say, so when its NO longer convienant for the other party that person bails out on the relationship or marriage. Its a sad state that were living in, very few people stick bye their mate while they down and out, alot of people have come accustom to having material things become more important then having LOVE in their life!
I agree Mizz Dalla’s that’s so sad
My cousin recommended this blog and she was totally right keep up the fantastic work!
Mizzdallas, With our economy and ppl losing their jobs we can look at our circle of friends and know who will still be married. When you marry for money and the money becomes limited the materialistic spouse will bounce like the check they wrote to keep the cable on. LOL. A wife is to support her husband, be his biggest cheerleader, pat him on the back and give him a “that a boy” every now and then. When my husband’s job cut his hours 2 yrs ago, he didn’t look for me to pick up the slack, he got a second job. For some marriage is “what are you going to do for me, vs what are we going to build together”. Too many ppl walk away from a marriage to easily. If you take counseling before marriage, shouldn’t you take it before a divorce? Too may ppl give up too quickly. So what if you have lived in a 3500 sq ft home for the past 10 yrs. and you can’t imagine downsizing to a 1500 sq ft home. A marriage is about compromise and accepting that things do change that you can’t conrol.