Life’s A B*tch But You Gotta Keep Movin & Learning

Isn’t it a trip how life can be a bish sometimes.  We all have some good times, some bad times or even some unsure times. Hell if we keep on living we’ll have some more of them; they’ll keep on coming.  I always say’s life is cold and it ain’t fair, sometimes it feels like it has taken a lifetime to get one message. Once you get it you feel silly because it’s a message you should have received a long time ago.

We’ve all caught ourselves saying “man if I would have knew this back then I could have.” It doesn’t matter what caused you to say it, thinking about money, relationships, or bad credit; it was something you did wrong that crossed your mind.

I feel there’s three major parts of life; learning, growing and receiving, seems easy ha? Well it should be, but somehow it’s become the hardest part of our lives to get right. Some lessons take forever to learn, and even when we learn them, we can still find ourselves right back into the same mess again. Growing comes with knowledge, I truly feel if you haven’t been through anything in life there’s no room to grow into something better.  Receiving is very complicated; it goes hand in hand with listening, understanding and being willing to accept the correct answers.

We tell ourselves we want to grow and learn but yet sometimes we don’t want to receive from certain people.  Sometimes we don’t want to receive the truth, we mind block what’s going on in our lives so we can have what we want. We hear what we want and do the total opposite of what we need to be doing, all because we don’t want to receive a message.

Something so small as receiving can turn into something so big and all it takes is opening up your ears and heart. It’s hard to hear he truth about yourself, it stings like a pack of bees. You go through all kind of motions to prove the other person wrong because you don’t want to face the truth.  I’ve done it many times over, I can remember being in denial because that’s what it is denial; not hate. We misuse the word hater so much it’s ridiculous.

It’s not hate when someone is telling you what’s best for you. I know some people don’t have the best attentions in the world. But my grandmother always told me “If everybody is saying the same thing about you, maybe its you.” We can blindside ourselves and say “they hating” but it won’t change a thing about you.  The truth is the truth no matter if you’re willing to receive it; it’s still the truth.

I spoke to my friend earlier today and somehow we got on a conversation about my ex and me. I was speaking about my past and how I let him put my self-esteem down so low. I had to take a breath because I couldn’t believe how I let him make me believe I wasn’t good enough. How I wasn’t pretty enough and nobody else would want me. I remember the days he would walk out on me and I would beg him to stay with me.  I was just being so young and foolish, but that was then and this is me now. I am a totally different woman now I’m fully-grown and aware of my women hood. The sad part is I knew better, I was raised better but I didn’t want to receive the message my mother was giving me or anybody else.  Being grown, hard headed and not facing the truth kept me entangled into a web a mess for twelve long years. And when it was all said and done he’s the one who can’t live without me POW. In life your going to go through changes it’s so much that you don’t know and probably never will. As long as you can look back and say, “I don’t know who that person was” you’re on the right track.

Everyday we should strive to grow into a better person, once the light shined down on me; I realized that we make our own lives harder by putting up fights with the wrong people. Without learning in life, you can’t grow into a better, smarter and wiser you.  Embracing that is the easy part, however the most important thing to understand is in life you WILL not be able to grow until your ready to receive the truth. Please learn how to receive; even from the people you don’t want telling you anything. I have embrace my up’s and down’s and I do feel a lifetime has pass me by there’s nothing I can do about it now.  Life’s cold and it ain’t fair I know life’s been an awful bish to me at times.  However I still must move on, I still gotta keep on pushing forward. The way I see it; its just another lesson learned.