Not Pointing The Finger ~ Malinda Williams

Well that was quick, I thought when the headlines of the beautiful Malinda Williams divorcing came across my desk. I thought they looked happy and in love. However I always say looks can be deceiving. Of course we don’t know what went on so quickly to dissolve a- not even two year old marriage. But it made me think back to her first divorce from Mekhi Phifer. I remember when the Honey Magazine issue came out in June/July 2003 and they gave him a chance to speak out because Melinda painted him as a cheater. He took the opportunity to say how he felt and I will never forget his words in fact I will post the entire story so you can freshen up if you forgotten.

“I was 23 when she got pregnant. You want to do the right thing — what society deems as being the right thing… She wanted a structured family lifestyle that she was used to growing up. The women are dominant matriarchs in her family and the men are subversive, subservient and subdued. Me? I come from a family of men — grown-ass men handling their business.

“It’s easy for a woman to say, ‘he cheated on me and did this and that.’ Look, I’m a very sexual person — I love to make love. In the morning, stink breath? I want to make love. At night after champagne, I want to make love. … Women have to let men be men, not walk over them. If you are dealing with a yellow-bellied, no-backbone muthaf***a, then okay… I’m a mover and a shaker — a king.

I didn’t want to be home anymore. We had nothing to talk about because she didn’t know the people I knew. Any argument that we had, 90 percent of the time, I didn’t know what the f*ckshe was talking about. There was just tension in the house and she couldn’t be sympathetic. I didn’t ask her to cook, clean, nothing. I had cleaning ladies, all that sh*t. But if you want your man to be there with you, you have to be there with him, too — a stimulus for a muthaf***a. … For most of the relationship, I was the mover and shaker, she was home complaining… [SOURCE]

Now I am not pointing the finger at Malinda I don’t know what happened, it just made me think; “Do we always blame the other person when our relationships fail?” It’s always easier to point the finger and say the other person was, is wrong, instead of looking at ourselves; isn’t it.  I know I’ve done it in my one relationship that I’ve had, but after a while I had to take some accountability as well and work on the things I felt I could have done better. We all have to live, learn and grow into a better person in life, however not facing the truths about yourself hurts you more than it does you good. We all sometimes say “I don’t care about what people think of me” and we shouldn’t however if everybody is saying the same thing than maybe it’s true. Maybe it’s you and maybe you should think about working on your flaws because we all have them.

 Following statement from D-Nice:

“I ask that our privacy be honored during this extremely personal time. I thank my family and fans for their endless support.”

Malinda entered the marriage with a son, while D-Nice entered the marriage with a daughter.  Well this one’s a sad one to hear.

Malinda Honey’s June 2003

Malinda’s rep BJ Coleman has given us this statement:

I never comment on my clients’ personal lives.  I do know Malinda’s main focus is always the well being of her son.  She is working on a couple of new projects  and is excited about moving forward in 2010.