I am a firm believer career wise to fake it until you make it, it has worked for me. However in my personally life I will not for one second fake happiness again! You are not fooling anyone but yourself and at least at a job you are getting compensated well for your struggles and it that’s becomes too much on to the next one. You can fool your boss and co-workers into training you to do their job, and make good with doing that. But faking a happy relationship; who does that benefit?  You? Maybe your spouse?  Your kids who see you fussing and fighting all the time? Your parents, your siblings or maybe your friends? Are maybe it’s the outsiders who you want to envy you and think you have it all when you really don’t?  

People fake love for the outsiders to believe all the time; but on the inside where no one dwells but them the real shows! And after a while; because you can only be fake for so long, the real shows through to the outsiders as well. Your look, your walk, your conversations and your bitterness tells it all without you speaking one word about your problems you’re trying so hard to cover up. Once saving face for the outsiders has taken a toll over your life; and your looking worn down and stressed out what will you do? One day you will have to face the facts that the people you’re trying to make envy you; are the same people u envy on the low. Those folks who you go out of your way to front for; are the same ones you think about when shyt gets bad and you wish you were somebody/somewhere else. One day you will wake up and wish just to be happy! The question is how long will you fake it before you realize the only thing you can change in your life is who you are allowing in and putting out of it. Happiness starts with self! Is it really worth faking it for others because nobody has to walk in your shoes but you!! Hey it’s your life waste it how you want; but time is the most valuable thing we have because you can’t get it back!!!! I’m speaking from experience because I have already been there and done that and I hated it. Life is only what you make it and you only get what you are willing to accept, so just remember you can fake it all you want to but will you make it? I doubt it… Keep it 100 always because lying to yourself gets you nowhere in life.

Nichelle Walker

Okay, men lets be real you guys suck at cheating. Stop it already. I mean there hasn’t been one case of a woman busted for cheating yet. Up next on Cheaters Revealed is Actress Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon.

She chose a very public forum to accuse her husband, CAA agent Mike Nilon, of cheating. In an e-mail making the rounds at the agency with the subject line “Tiger Woods/Jesse James/Mike Nilon,” the former “NYPD Blue” star wrote to Nilon’s colleagues, “What do they have in common . . . I found out today that MY husband of almost 9 yrs has been having an affair for 5 yrs with some slut in Chicago. I am devastated!!!! And I have been duped!! Our boys don’t deserve this!” Neither Beauvais-Nilon nor Nilon responded to multiple calls and e-mails seeking comment. CAA had no comment

I got my popcorn to see who I will feature next. Stay tuned because it will be somebody.

source

Isn’t it a trip how life can be a bish sometimes.  We all have some good times, some bad times or even some unsure times. Hell if we keep on living we’ll have some more of them; they’ll keep on coming.  I always say’s life is cold and it ain’t fair, sometimes it feels like it has taken a lifetime to get one message. Once you get it you feel silly because it’s a message you should have received a long time ago.

We’ve all caught ourselves saying “man if I would have knew this back then I could have.” It doesn’t matter what caused you to say it, thinking about money, relationships, or bad credit; it was something you did wrong that crossed your mind.

I feel there’s three major parts of life; learning, growing and receiving, seems easy ha? Well it should be, but somehow it’s become the hardest part of our lives to get right. Some lessons take forever to learn, and even when we learn them, we can still find ourselves right back into the same mess again. Growing comes with knowledge, I truly feel if you haven’t been through anything in life there’s no room to grow into something better.  Receiving is very complicated; it goes hand in hand with listening, understanding and being willing to accept the correct answers.

We tell ourselves we want to grow and learn but yet sometimes we don’t want to receive from certain people.  Sometimes we don’t want to receive the truth, we mind block what’s going on in our lives so we can have what we want. We hear what we want and do the total opposite of what we need to be doing, all because we don’t want to receive a message.

Something so small as receiving can turn into something so big and all it takes is opening up your ears and heart. It’s hard to hear he truth about yourself, it stings like a pack of bees. You go through all kind of motions to prove the other person wrong because you don’t want to face the truth.  I’ve done it many times over, I can remember being in denial because that’s what it is denial; not hate. We misuse the word hater so much it’s ridiculous.

It’s not hate when someone is telling you what’s best for you. I know some people don’t have the best attentions in the world. But my grandmother always told me “If everybody is saying the same thing about you, maybe its you.” We can blindside ourselves and say “they hating” but it won’t change a thing about you.  The truth is the truth no matter if you’re willing to receive it; it’s still the truth.

I spoke to my friend earlier today and somehow we got on a conversation about my ex and me. I was speaking about my past and how I let him put my self-esteem down so low. I had to take a breath because I couldn’t believe how I let him make me believe I wasn’t good enough. How I wasn’t pretty enough and nobody else would want me. I remember the days he would walk out on me and I would beg him to stay with me.  I was just being so young and foolish, but that was then and this is me now. I am a totally different woman now I’m fully-grown and aware of my women hood. The sad part is I knew better, I was raised better but I didn’t want to receive the message my mother was giving me or anybody else.  Being grown, hard headed and not facing the truth kept me entangled into a web a mess for twelve long years. And when it was all said and done he’s the one who can’t live without me POW. In life your going to go through changes it’s so much that you don’t know and probably never will. As long as you can look back and say, “I don’t know who that person was” you’re on the right track.

Everyday we should strive to grow into a better person, once the light shined down on me; I realized that we make our own lives harder by putting up fights with the wrong people. Without learning in life, you can’t grow into a better, smarter and wiser you.  Embracing that is the easy part, however the most important thing to understand is in life you WILL not be able to grow until your ready to receive the truth. Please learn how to receive; even from the people you don’t want telling you anything. I have embrace my up’s and down’s and I do feel a lifetime has pass me by there’s nothing I can do about it now.  Life’s cold and it ain’t fair I know life’s been an awful bish to me at times.  However I still must move on, I still gotta keep on pushing forward. The way I see it; its just another lesson learned.

I remember when I was young once; it’s actually not to long ago I was a teenager about 12 years ago. Was I wild no, did I do things I regret, yes. Did I smoke and drink, no. Have I done anything that I am ashamed of yes. Was I promiscuous no, did I back talk my momma? Once I did when I started to smell myself and once she put that azz beating on me that never happened again. Was I fast, no, did I have sex with anybody in my high school no; in fact my ex-boyfriend Jevon didn’t attend Hill Crest when we dated. However there’s not one boy in Hill Crest that can claim they had sex with me, in fact nobody from my old hood either. As a grown woman who is almost kissing 30 (not there yet) I can still count on one hand how many men I gave my body to.  I was never fast or wild, I never snuck out the house and smoked and partied. Does that make me better than anybody else, NO. I didn’t give my mother those types of problems because she didn’t play with my sister and I. I also had great, uncles, aunts, cousins, family friends and a great pastor who taught us the right things. Even when we didn’t want to hear what they were saying~~ the message given was the truth. I believe back in the day when I grew up it was called the power of prayer. The bible tells us to “train a child in the way they should go and it shall not part them” and it’s the truth. Even when we do things wrong as adults we know we are wrong because we were trained the right way and we know better.  I wrote this blog post http://nwmasssmedia.com/2009/04/perception-is-everything/ and a young lady responded to my post in this manner read below,

“u were probably doing the same thing when u were younger. i luv how adults “women” do shiz when theyre our age and turn around and be hypocrites and say “dont do this”. yeah right.

Exactly, you admit to doing whatever it was you were doing when you were younger, yet now youre saying dont do it. and in my book, thats called a Hypocrite with a capital H.”

Now firstly I want to touch bases on the word Hypocrite now I don’t know if you truly know the definition to the word so I will give it to you below,

1: a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion?2: a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings via Webster

Now a person who acts in contradiction, is not the same as a person who acknowledges a past; in fact the word contradiction means: a situation in which inherent factors, actions, or propositions are inconsistent or contrary to one another. So to contradict yourself or be a Hypocrite you have to be a person who is currently living a different life than you preach, like a preacher that has a wife and a baby momma is a Hypocrite. So I hope you can understand the meaning of the words you choose to make the things you are doing better.

Now I wanted to let you know if somebody is giving you a word of advice you should listen, however you don’t have to. My momma always told me “a hard head makes a soft azz” and I didn’t understand that until I got older. Nobodies walk in life is perfect, and yes there are women who have done things wrong in the past and now tell you differently. These women are telling you there regret that has nothing to do with being a Hypocrite, you can learn from other people downfalls. You don’t have to touch the fire to know it’s hot. If somebody is telling you something right please take it into consideration.

Messages are very powerful and they can change your life, please receive them. We need more powerful massages like the message of a young woman named Ms. Marvelyn Brown. She penned a novel titled, The Naked Truth (please read) the story is about her catching aids at 19.  Should this young woman skip going back into her community and spreading her message? Should she not let young girls know her downfall and how she could have prevented it? Does this make this young woman a Hypocrite? I think not, her words are real and her message is much needed.  Sweetheart understand you don’t know everything and neither do I. I still seek advice because I am still growing as a woman, as a mother, as a friend; I still need direction at times. Listening is a virtue many of us need to embrace.

I pour my heart out on this blog in every reality post, and I am not ashamed of who I am or where I came from. I wish I had a different outlet of truth outside of my mother growing up. When your mother tells you right, you feel she is wrong and trying to control you. You feel like she’s old and doesn’t know what she is talking about. You feel like your old enough to make your own mind up and if your wrong fluck it “I am still young.”

Baby girl life does not work like that; the road into womanhood is very hard and will get shaky. There’s nothing easy in this world, once you get older you have bills, and everything under the sun to worry about.  What you see on TV is not real, the struggles are never made light of, this world is cold and it ain’t fair. If a older more experienced woman is telling you something, she is telling it to you for a reason. She probably has been there and done that, and please believe me the game is still the same, the only thing that changes is the years.

I just want to leave you with this message, and it’s up to you to receive it.  Your walk into womanhood can be ruff~~ life isn’t easy. Certain situations you end up in will have you questioning your values and morals. Your faith will be tested, sometimes you can feel all alone, and sometimes you will feel like the world has turned it’s back on you. Sometimes you can do things that your too ashamed to tell anyone else, sometimes you wont even have twenty dollars in your pockets or money to get to work.  That fairytale you had planned out for your life can turn into a nightmare and your left trying to figure out the way. Life’s a Bish and one thing for sure; life isn’t the cakewalk you see on TV.

That baller your chasing down might use you up and throw you to the side. Or maybe the clothes he bought you or the money you might get makes him feel like he owns you. So now he controls you like a slave and you deal with it because you have no other way to maintain. Education is such a powerful tool, get educated and respect yourself because you are worth it.

The only way to grow in life is~~ listening, receiving, adhering, understanding, praying, working hard then working even harder, knowing yourself, respecting yourself, loving yourself and knowing your self worth.

I want to extend an open invitation to join my goodgirlzclub; it will be up in full effect in the upcoming weeks. You will receive a vision board, a diary, a t-shirt and planner. I will look forward to seeing you enter the club and finish with great things accomplished.

Much Love To You,

Nichelle Walker

I was thinking to myself  and it crossed my mind why do people tell folks stuff that they don’t want anybody to know? Why risk the possibility of it getting repeated back by somebody who gets mad at you. I think your most deepest darkest secrets should be kept to yourself. If your cheating on your spouse the best choice would be for you not to tell anyone. That way when your done you don’t have to worry about somebody holding it over your head. People act funny when certain things happen, maybe you hit the lottery and they want a piece and you give them some but they want more— and when you say no, they black out and black mail you. We all have things that we’ve done that we might want to be kept quiet. We might tell a friend and leave it at that, but is that really safe?

Should you keep all your secrets between you and God?


Diary ft Tony Toni Tone - Alicia Keys

Well last night I was talking to my friends and they told me I was wrong for calling Alicia Key’s a bucket head on my site. They said that Alicia Key’s didn’t owe Mashonda anything and she was free to do what she wants. I went on to say “well how can you appear to be about sisterly love  and do something like that?” They advised me just because she slept with a married man does not mean she isn’t about sisterly love. They said that the only person to blame is Swiss Beats and Alicia was not at any fault. So I told them I disagree with it and I’m not going to cosign or glorify cheating, then I was told— it’s the way things are. And that was one statement that I agreed with, it is the way things are these days–and I don’t blame Alicia for Swiss Beats wrong doing, he is the guilty party and he was the one who made the vow to forsake all others. However the last time I checked it takes two to cheat, and I don’t care about what type of problems you have in a relationships cheating is wrong in my eyes. So it made me think of all the others who may felt I’m wrong for calling her a bucket head, or my comment about women being bucket heads. Well I apologize if I upset any of you or you felt disrespected, however I don’t down play my mistakes on this site. I do write about them and I’m not ashamed of them either, I don’t stand on a soap box and preach the gospel and I’m not a holy roller. Yes we all make mistakes but it’s a difference when you make a mistake and hurt yourself but doing things to hurt others in my eyes is scandalize.

I have my feelings and opinions about this subject just like everyone else does, am I wrong for not cosigning this? I just sit back and look at this world in disbelief, I can’t believe the way things are. After my conversation last night I came to a conclusion there’s nothing that can be done it is what it is! So instead of getting mad lets just tell our daughters there’s no hope for a husband. There’s no hope for a family just baby Momma status, there’s no hope for a great relationship just take what you can get.Tell her that she will share a man, advise her that a woman owes her nothing and can sleep with her man anytime that she wants to. Get her prepared and make her understand that her man can leave her at anytime because he’s found better. Let’s start telling them the truth, that it’s a dirty game out here—that the man she’s laying next to will cheat and don’t get mad just get over it and move on. Let’s tell them that it’s okay for her to marry a man and him wake up and leave her, besides it’s her fault he cheated anyway–because she wasn’t making him happy. Lets tell our daughters the truth about life because if we accept this as women now— if it’s cool now, then it will only get worse so lets get our daughters ready for this so they can already expect it and not be so shocked. 

So to Alicia Keys and all the others who feel I shouldn’t judge and I was wrong, my bad if you think I’m being judgmental. I apologize for thinking about the bigger picture here, but I guess if we train our daughters now for what we have left of a relationship they will be able to swallow it better. At the end of the day only God can judge you, me and whoever else. But wrong will always be wrong no matter how much sugar you put in it to make it sweeter it is what it is, wrong! I know we will never respect one another especially when I hear a woman sing a line “And all my sisters Coming together Say, “Yes, I will” “Yes, I can” (Superwoman Alicia Keys) If coming together means sleeping with another woman’s husband then I hate to see what being enemies would mean I’m just saying..

Okay so how many ladies out there and be truthful, wish they could be a stripper for one day deep down inside? There in-tuned with there bodies and are care free, how many times have you seen a move and told yourself I wish I could do that? Well me myself, to be truthful I wouldn’t want to be a full blown stripper ever. I’m not knocking them but all that peen sucking for ten dollars I’ll pass on. However I do wish I could pole dance, so I won’t lie about that. I know some women are to shy to go to a pole dancing class so I will be posting a video weekly of pole dancing 101 so you can do it in the privacy of your own home.  It’s actually really good exercise so here is a introduction to my online class pole dancing 101 I posted a link where you can find the pole but if you need it again here 

I looked on eBay and there are various priced pole the one above is the Carmen Electra pole for 103$ so ladies class is in session. 

Ladies I’m running to the nearest pole dancing class, we have to step our game up it getting outrages now. That’s some bad moves she pulled I can’t lie, I just want to be able to do one. You can practice in the comfort of your own home click here to get your pole Pole Girl

“Usher is the one that I truly did love. Like that was truly my first adult love. I love him very much and I will always love him. I don’t know how you love someone that deeply and just stop loving them. I’m not in love with him anymore but I can’t say that I don’t love him anymore. And of course I do want him to be happy and all but me and him had what I never had in any of my other relationships, and that was chemistry.” Chilli

I was searching the net and I remember that interview above Chilli gave and I wondered does she feel the same way about Usher as I feel about my ex. It sounds that way when I read what she said about him, maybe she’s sitting back wishing they never broken up.

I took a long ride to clear my mind the other day and Mariah Carey We Belong Together came on the radio; all I could do was think about my high school sweetheart. I wondered what my life would have been like if we never would have broken up. I found myself reminiscing on those days where he was the first person I gave my all to, my first kiss, my first love. But we where young and we parted ways my senior year, I really till this day can’t understand what went wrong. But I always felt like he was my sole mate, my heart always longed for him, wishing we never went wrong. I kept in contact with him throughout the years, but it will never be because he’s married with a family but I still feel like “We Belong Together.”  I don’t know if it’s because my only other relationship was horrible after him.  But I do think of him on occasions and after eleven years of being apart I can’t shake it, I still feel the same way I did the first time he kissed me.  I still remember how we use to talk on the phone for hours until he fell asleep. I don’t know maybe I’m just tripping but I do feel Mariah when she sings,

When you left I lost a part of me, it’s still so hard to believe, come back baby please, cause we belong together.

Sounds real thirsty don’t it—lmao. But I know we all have that one person that we wish we could still be with. That one person you felt like you let slip away from you, that one person that you wish you tried harder with. We all have those days when things get bad and you sit back and regret letting that person go, but the truth is. Time doesn’t move back but two hours a year so you have to make peace with it and move on, but nothing will ever replace that feeling. And there’s nothing wrong with wishing and just maybe you can get a second chance to love that deep again.

So I’m asking am I the only thirst bucket, or is there somebody you broke up with that you wish you never did? Is there an old love that you feel “We Belong together”?


We Belong Together – Mariah Carey Music Code


Okay Fella’s riddle me this is this a male or female?