I think Chilli missed out on her soulmate when she left Usher and I believe she knows it as well. Watching her talk about him on VH1 I saw that what they had sometimes you only get to find that kind of love once in a lifetime. A love that connects you together where it always feels right even in the bad times you still feel connected. It’s hard to find someone you have things in common with, chemistry, great sex, good conversation, great times and a connection that burns so deep you can feel it even when they are away. I mean I don’t understand how someone can let something so great go, but then again we live with so much baggage and fear in our lives even when you have someone who is that right standing in front of you, you’ll find something wrong because you afraid to let go.  I can’t see how you can shake that “I missed out” feeling when you skipped over the person you know you could have had a happy life with? Of course some say everything happens for a reason but I truly believe some things are destine and we hinder ourselves by not letting go of past things or being to stubborn to give in. Sometimes the only reason that you miss out on something great is because you where to scared to move your feet and it will be something that you will have to live with forever. And it’s much easier say “maybe it wasn’t meant” but the truth is, it was and you missed out and you might not have another chance at finding that one again. I really hope Chilli and Usher either get back together or she settles instead of trying to find another him because sometimes you only get one real love in a lifetime and everyone else is what you have to settle with.

Temeka Raymond didn’t seem to happy about this and she told Chili to get over it… lol

I think so. I feel that men and women are made up differently so it is a need for each sex to have a different role in a relationship. Of course there’s the big debate about black women not knowing how to submit which maybe true. However in a relationship especially a marriage both parties have to submit in my book, the man to God and the woman to him. If a man is not leading the right way why should anyone follow him? I do believe that it was an order set and for a good reason, “Man, Woman and child” and should be followed. I think sometimes we as women just don’t like nobody telling us what to do, and it’s probably the hardest part of the submit factor. The way I see it the word Woman is a made up of two elements Wo/man, the word is very powerful and strong. Nothing and I mean nothing in this world would be able to sustain without us. In a family the woman is the backbone the one who makes things happen, the one who picks up the pieces and most of the time the one who gets mistreated. But where would the world be without us, even if you take a man and dress him up and change his sex he will still never compare to the power God gave us.

The two elements of the word in my opinion means she can stand as one, or stand-alone. We are the elements that make the world go round; we breathe life into this world. Sometimes we are forced to stand-alone and take care of everything ourselves with no help. Sometimes we make a tuff bed to lie in but we women and not girls figure it out.  Sometimes we have to stand as one, be the back bone and let our husbands lead the way but whatever cards we our dealt we can deal with because we are made up to do so. On the other hand the word Man cannot be broken down, it means only one thing and it only has one way, it depends on a woman, as they are a part of our name. No matter if it’s his mother, sister, cousin, wife, lover, friend whoever she is, a man will lean on a woman to do the things he can’t.

So the point I am making here is, in a relationship the woman is the most important part of it because she can do all things. So the order that was set Man, Woman and Child was only to make a man feel like he is running it. So it’s okay to fall back and let him think he is because we all know that we really run this shyt so it’s okay to play our role and know that we are the ones that keeps the house together. Remember it’s not what you do it’s how you do, a smile in his face and an eye roll behind his back won’t hurt anybody lol.

Poor Jessica Simpson, what is this boyfriend number six or seven for her? I mean her ex husband Nick Lachey has been with his girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo since the divorce was final. Why is it harder for women to rebound in relationships? I see this happen all the time women going from one relationship to the next while the ex is either married or in a steady relationship. Is it easier for men to find love Vs women? My ex tells me all the time I will not find a man who wants me, I just ignore his jealous rants. However it does seem that women do have a harder time finding and keeping a relationship Vs men I wonder why is that?

What I’ve learned in life is women like her, whom seem to have it all together are the ones who man is cheating on them 40 going north. What I come to realize is that women who always have something to say to another woman there not really happy themselves. Now the only thing I will agree with is that you are in charge of your own happiness and you have to take charge of your life and live it how you want to. However I very much disagree about the dead beat dad’s because first off there are dead beat mom’s in the world. And also yes some people who live to be seen on Maury may have known dude was a loser. But I seen men run game smoother that Lebron James lay ups. People rarely show them true self’s in the beginning of a relationship. Beware of impostor’s because they are lurking. The only thing I can say is in 2010 if your still complaining and going over your would’a, should’a, could’a then do something about it, take charge and live the life YOU want to live. Fluck what everybody else is talking about because the one’s who seem to know it all don’t know shyt! Life is about growing and learning and we will grow everyday and learn something new everyday. Nobody has a perfect life no matter how they my seem to have there shyt together nobody has one. I will say I keep it real on my blog because my life has been far from perfect and if I can help a person see they don’t have to walk a mile in the shoe’s I trucked in I will do it by any means. But I do not know it all and will never pretend I know it all, nobodies perfect and yes I do feel you should not expect to get anything from a mate if you are not offering it back and that goes both ways.

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It’s time to move on, said I’m tired of hanging on…

Right now you’re sitting back and asking yourself why? Why is this person acting a fool and treating me bad? Right now your sitting around trying to figure out how you can get things back to what they use to be. Right now your sitting down and replying the drama over and over in your mind trying to see what you did wrong to make that person behave like a fool? But how many times are you going to have that talk with yourself? How many times will you try to figure out a way to make that person be what YOU want them to be? How long will you allow yourself to feel guilty for another grown person actions? How many times will you turn your blind eyes to the truth?  How long will you deny yourself a chance at being happy because you’re trying to fix something that has been shattered? When will you wake up and face the truth? When it’s time to move on there’s nothing you can do about it but let it go!!!

Facing the truth isn’t easy. One day I had to wake up and realize you can’t change grown folks! You can’t make people be who you want them to be! Once a person is grown there’s nothing you can do about the way they carry themselves. You can’t shape and mold a person into this image you have in your mind of your ideal mate. You have to take folks for what they are; and if they’re not what you want you have to make a swift decision. Either you deal with it or keep it pimping. There’s no need in sitting around your whole life asking yourself why, why, why? It doesn’t matter why, if you really think about it. It only matters if you can tolerate who that person is. If you can’t put up with that person ways, behavior, abuse or whatever foolish shyt there doing. Then you have to wake and realize it’s time to move on. You can’t change them, you can’t beat them into who you want them to be, you can’t force your beliefs on them, the only thing you can do is let them find a spouse who can deal with them just the way they are.

We have to realize people up bringing will affect the way they carry themselves. It will affect their views on relationships and how they should treat people. If a man is brought up in a house where he saw certain things it will carry into his relationship, same as if a woman saw her mom pretty much strong arm her father it will be the way she runs her relationships. It’s nobody fault it’s just the way things are, you have some people who make it there business not to be like what they saw growing up but for the most part if that stuff is instilled in them they won’t change until they see fit.

We are in control of our happiness! I had to see that I couldn’t keep saying, “I just want to be happy” without doing something about it. I wrote about it here , we have the final say so over our lives, rather it be good or bad. It all falls back into our lap. As an adult we choose what we allow to take place in our lives unlike our children.  It’s unfortunate to them that you are bringing them up around dysfunctional things and forcing them to accept the things you accept that’s unfair.

Once you see you can’t change another person the better off you will be. Change comes from within and the only change you really need to make is the things that are going on in your life that you don’t like. Once I woke up and faced the truth, it didn’t matter why, it only matter how could I start living for me. How could I make myself happy, how could I get rid of the drama and all the long talks with myself, that was when I realized it was time to move on!!! Because the way I see it, I can do bad all by damn myself!  I don’t need any help from another person to bring me down.

Once you’re done with the talks and trying to figure out why, that will be the day you can truly start living your life and being happy.  Remember you can’t hold yourself responsible for another grown person actions. No matter what wrong you’ve done you don’t deserve to be mistreated by anybody, loving yourself if knowing when you deserve better and it’s knowing when it’s time to move on….

Sparkle – Time To Move On.mp3 get more free mp3 & video codes at www.musik-live.net

I was sitting here thinking if I had one wish what would it be? My life has moved at such a fast pace I can’t believe I am sitting here old as I am and not being totally where I want to be. If I could get one wish, I would go back to being 18 and just listen! Listen to my momma, listen to my grandmother, listen to my uncles just truly listen and not think I knew it all. That would be my one wish, because it would change everything for me, my mistakes that where not needed to be made, my test and trails I’ve been through. My kids father, my past relationship just everything for me, just that one simple thing Listening can change everything for you. As I’ve gotten older and wiser I have learn that you don’t have to touch the fire to see it’s hot. Listening is one of our sixth senses that we rarely use. If more people just listened instead of reacting a lot of things in this world would be better. I mean they say your life is already written from the man upstairs, but I do believe you can alter a lot of things by being hard headed and not listening. One thing I learned is to always follow my first mind because most of the time it’s right. I think the things you go through makes you stronger and wiser but I do believe we put more stress and pain on ourselves by not listening to someone who’s already been there and done that.

So if you had One Wish what would it be?



Ray J – One Wish.mp3 get more free mp3 & video codes at www.musik-live.net

I can pay my own light bill baby, Pump my own gas in my own car, I can buy my own shoe collection I’ve been blessed thus far, I can kill the spider above my bed, Although it’s hard because I’m scared, I can even stain and polyurethane, But some things just don’t change, I need you yeah, Sometimes so hard to say oh~~ Jill Scott

I think the worst feeling in a relationship is feeling unappreciated, unwanted and unneeded. In my past relationship I felt that way everyday. No matter how hard I tried I could never get it right.  No matter how much I gave it was never good enough. Even when I did something great I was reminded how “I don’t need yo azz.” My thing is if you feel that way, why be in a relationship? Why even bother if you feel you don’t need a spouse. I always tell myself I will never speak those words out loud while I’m in a relationship. Sometimes you can say it so much that you start believing it. You start carry yourself in that manner and then your spouse is feeling unwanted. I feel you do need someone, no matter if it’s a friend, lover, homey, boyfriend, and girlfriend. You need somebody to just talk to sometimes. Somebody to listen to you when your upset, somebody to tell you everything is going to be okay when you feel unsure. We are not robots; we are built with emotions and feelings. We need each other it’s the way God designed it. If you’re in a relationship, being selfish is not good. I mean we all have days where you just want what you want, but you shouldn’t make your mate feeling less then to get it.

We all know you can be alone and do it all by yourself, but every step of the way there is a thought of “if I had” that crosses your mind.  I feel there’s no sense in pumping your head up with that I don’t need mess. Thinking like that can cloud your judgment and make you miss out on your good thing that could be right in front of your eyes. We do need each other and although it’s hard to tell your mate, they need to hear it, feel it and share it.



Jill Scott–the Fact Is (i Need You).mp3 get more free mp3 & video codes at www.musik-live.net

One of Lindsey Lohan’s first major films in 2004 was “Mean Girls”.  In it there was a scene where one of the main character’s pre-pubescent little sister is dancing in front of the television imitating a pop star in a music video. Booty shorts and all, the little girl tries her very best to get the strokes of her non-existent hips right and her mosquito bites of breast pushed up to look like the video vixen.

She’s a far cry from the days when little girls played dress up to look like ladies.

The media has given us so many what-the-hell-is-this-world-coming-to moments in the few years. Especially with the influx of celebrity sex tapes, we’ve been able to view absolute untalented buffoons grow into mega stars. It’s no wonder why young girls would rather be like Draya Michele than Michelle Obama.

“Black girls are not seeing positive images of who they are and what they can be,” said Carolyn West, associate professor of psychology and the study of prevention of violence at the University of Washington. “Looking at the sexual imagery really impacts on the functioning of teenage girls. It sets the foundation for future victimization and causes teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases,” she added.

People are a product of their environment, think about how you and your friends were raised. If your children are surrounded by positive images, a variety of interesting careers and attainable goals there’s no limit to what they’ll choose to do.

In the past we were taught that lawyers, doctors, teachers and preachers were four solid careers, but there are so many interesting jobs that are specific to your child’s interests. There’s nothing wrong with becoming a model, but knowing your worth beyond a pretty face allows a window of opportunity to come in. Go to the library with them, find after school art programs, etiquette classes, expose your child to as much as your resources can accommodate.

Ask family members and friends in different cities about opportunities and events going on that can open up their mind. If exposed to a plethora of interests, being in some rappers video will seem less intriguing.

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Black love is still alive and in full effect. Flex Alexander & Shanice Talk BLACK LOVE & Being A Portraying A Positive Image For Black Fathers.



I was having a conversation with a friend and I told him I would never live with a man again before we got married. I will spend the night but living together playing like we are married and we’re not; won’t ever happen again. He said it was foolish and a bad idea, he said you need to live with a person so you can know them. But when my grandmother uses to say to me “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free” I never understood that until after I got out of my relationship. Why pretend to be a man’s wife and do wife things for him when you’re just his girlfriend? I mean really is that smart? I know some people don’t believe in marriage and all and I guess if you don’t want to be married then good for you; but I do. I don’t want to ever get myself into a position where I am pretending to be a man’s wife. Let’s be real, there’s no benefit in being a girlfriend if you want the cow BUY the milk period.

What are your thoughts do you agree with playing house?