I am a firm believer career wise to fake it until you make it, it has worked for me. However in my personally life I will not for one second fake happiness again! You are not fooling anyone but yourself and at least at a job you are getting compensated well for your struggles and it that’s becomes too much on to the next one. You can fool your boss and co-workers into training you to do their job, and make good with doing that. But faking a happy relationship; who does that benefit?  You? Maybe your spouse?  Your kids who see you fussing and fighting all the time? Your parents, your siblings or maybe your friends? Are maybe it’s the outsiders who you want to envy you and think you have it all when you really don’t?  

People fake love for the outsiders to believe all the time; but on the inside where no one dwells but them the real shows! And after a while; because you can only be fake for so long, the real shows through to the outsiders as well. Your look, your walk, your conversations and your bitterness tells it all without you speaking one word about your problems you’re trying so hard to cover up. Once saving face for the outsiders has taken a toll over your life; and your looking worn down and stressed out what will you do? One day you will have to face the facts that the people you’re trying to make envy you; are the same people u envy on the low. Those folks who you go out of your way to front for; are the same ones you think about when shyt gets bad and you wish you were somebody/somewhere else. One day you will wake up and wish just to be happy! The question is how long will you fake it before you realize the only thing you can change in your life is who you are allowing in and putting out of it. Happiness starts with self! Is it really worth faking it for others because nobody has to walk in your shoes but you!! Hey it’s your life waste it how you want; but time is the most valuable thing we have because you can’t get it back!!!! I’m speaking from experience because I have already been there and done that and I hated it. Life is only what you make it and you only get what you are willing to accept, so just remember you can fake it all you want to but will you make it? I doubt it… Keep it 100 always because lying to yourself gets you nowhere in life.

Nichelle Walker

Well it’s that time of year where we all say what we will do for the New Year. We make a list of things that seem great but yet we never even accomplish half our stated goals. Why is that? Well personally I feel its procrastination. We all know what’s good for us, what’s bad for us, what we need and what we don’t need. However we sit around and still do the opposite, no matter how much we speak and know we should be doing something else we sit there and procrastinate.

 I went to church yesterday and the pastor preached on letting go for the better. He said you cannot have that breakthrough you need while you’re holding on to wrong.  He also went on to say, we often miss our blessing because we expect everything to come easy and not want to put in the work. I agreed with the message. Year after year I sat there hanging on, settling and dealing with. I constantly was shrugging my shoulders and making due. But how long can you live with just that? I guess that is a question we have to ask ourselves individually. We all have difference tolerance levels; however what will always remain the same for all of us. You will not breakthrough until you let go and live. Let go of whatever is blocking, blinding and hindering your peace of mind and happiness.

You cannot live your life happily without having a peace of mind IMO. You can trick yourself into believing that things are good. You can plaster a fake smile for the outside folks, you can lie and fake it but nobody has to truck into your shoes but you. So go ahead and front, deal with, pretend and hang on to the wrong things all your life. But will you ever receive all that you are supposed to have?  Will you ever fully accomplish all those goals you set up in the beginning of the year? Well trust me the choice is yours and nobody can take that step for the better but you.

The hardest step for a baby is to let go of that table, couch or whatever it is that is balancing them up so they won’t fall. But one day when they’re tired of going in circles, or maybe it’s the bag of cookies that they want some of badly. They stand there and let go and they take that first step to walk, they step out on faith knowing that I might fall, I might not; but I’m going for it. It’s funny how we can learn so much from our kids. But just like that scared little baby who had to believe that they can do it, we have to do the same.  

We have to take that first baby step to better our lives or to get what we want badly, you have to let go of that couch or table that you feel is stable.  If you’re tired of going in circles, if you want to move but you’re scared you might fall, just think about how you gotta crawl before you walk and walk before you run. But you won’t get anywhere until you let go and take a step towards your future. So as the New Year rings in and the months start to roll by; don’t let the promises you’ve made to have a better life fall by the wayside. Don’t be afraid to let go and take a baby step to claim what you want and need. The bible said if you have faith as little as an mustard seed you can move a mountain. Step out on faith in 2011 and let go of whatever that is hindering you from receiving your blessing that God has in store for you. The time is now.  Let go and let God, so hard to do but it’s the only way to do it…

Happy New Year

Nichelle Walker

An all-too familiar scenario: Malik meets Stephanie. He thinks she’s attractive, but for whatever reason, he isn’t interested in much more than a physical relationship with her. Stephanie thinks Malik is all around awesome. They go on a few dates and start sleeping together. Malik is actively meeting and courting other women while calling girl for crazy amazing  sex sessions. Stephanie is frustrated that she isn’t being treated like a girlfriend, yet she continues the affair in hopes that he will soon see how great she is. Malik knows exactly how Stephanie feels about him, yet he continues sleeping with her. Pain ensues.

Who’s the bad guy in this situation? I’d say both of them. While Stephanie ultimately should have taken Malik at his word and actions, it wasn’t cool for him to continue having sex with her knowing where she stood. She’s the one responsible for protecting herself, no doubt. But it’s still cruel to keep the sex going when there are plenty other women out there he could have met. Ultimately, Stephanie has poor judgement and Malik is a jerk…but only one of them will truly suffer as a result.

Unfortunately, this sort of thing happens all of the time with both men and women finding themselves feeling hurt and used. Protect ya neck, ladies. If someone tells you they don’t want a relationship…believe them. And if you aren’t able to part ways with your desires for love and affections from said person, the LAST thing you want to do is have sex with them. You cannot “screw” anyone into liking you! It doesn’t matter what you can do with that thang, you are not gonna wear down somebody’s disinterest in the rest of you. Don’t try!

Good sex can make a sister go crazy. An over-the-top bedroom connection can easily be confused with a deeper romantic one. I advise you all to be keenly aware of the difference so that you can be open and free for the person who offers both. Furthermore, it’s virtually impossible to divorce your loins from your heart when it comes to someone you have real feelings for.

Source

Okay we all either have done it or we are currently doing it, being settled with the known. Rather it’s a dead end job, relationship, hairstyle, clothing we all sometimes just feel “whatever” . It’s easier to go with what you know than to venture out and try something new. Even if deep down inside you want to you just lock up and stay with what you know even if it’s no good for you. Over the weekend I had a talk with my little cousin about his relationship and he was talking about his girl and how he just with her because they been together for a long time. He said to me when they broke up he met a girl that he was really happy with and he dated her for a year and didn’t even have a desire to cheat on her because she made him complete. But he said he didn’t give her a 100% because he was scared of starting over. He said that although he clicked with her he was scared to let his ex all the way go and start all the way over new.

I told him sometimes you only get one real love in a lifetime that your soul connects to. Why would you let something like that go for something that you truly don’t want? He shrugs his shoulder and said because we been together all this time. But that don’t mean you’re happy and to continue to live a lie for no good reason is just a waste of time. I advised him that he better hope what he wants is still there when he wakes and realize it’s only so much pretending you can do before you overload. I remember staying for my kids and because I thought I couldn’t find anyone else. My ex had brainwashed me into believe the only person I could get was him and like a fool I believed him for many years. Then one day I woke up and it was not enough I needed more. I was still young and my kids were getting older. On top of that I had a daughter how was I to set an example if I here with her father just for her. Once I broke free of that mindset and left I see how many years I wasted settling.

Life goes on even if you don’t. You only have one life to live and sitting back letting a person who completes you pass you by for something you truly don’t want will hunt you forever. So my advice to my cousin was “Sometimes you have to step out on faith and live your life for you…”  Never settle because you deserve the best and to be happy…

First off folks are to judgemental, before you speak about someone else business ask yourself is yours together. I have outgrown judging people life’s we don’t know them from a can of paint and to sit back and assume what really went on is wrong. If Fantasia is dating a married man who business is it? How do we know if the man said he was separated. Why is the woman always gets slammed and the man; the person who took the vowels slides through like he ain’t do any wrong. The only person who owes you anything in a relationship is the person your in it with and if that person doesn’t respect you don’t expect anybody who doesn’t even know you to. I don’t know why she would try to kill herself but this is just sad nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes, all I can say he who is without sin should cast the first stone and I do believe nobody and I mean nobody would be able to do so.

Fantasia was taken to the hospital last night after overdosing on sleep aid and aspirin. Radar Online has the police report which confirms that police responded to a “suicide attempt” call. She was found in a closest of her home and taken to Mercy South Hospital in Pineville where she is now in stable condition

Her manager has released a statement to TMZ which claims she was completely overwhelmed by the recent lawsuit filed by Antwaun Cook’s wife and all of the media attention surrounding her relationship. He also claims that Fantasia believed Antwaun Cook when he told her that he was not happy in his marriage and that he and his wife had been separated since the Summer of 2009.

The entire statement regarding their relationship below:

Fantasia has always been an open book. Honesty, self-respect, and personal responsibility are values she wears proudly.

Fantasia believed Mr. Cook when he told her he was not happy in his marriage and his heart was not in it. She believed him when he told her he and Mrs. Cook separated in the late summer of 2009. She believed Mr. Cook when he told her he lived elsewhere.

He even took her there. One of Mr. Cook’s most redeeming qualities was his complete devotion to his children. Fantasia fell in love with Mr. Cook and believed that he loved her.

Fantasia and Mr. Cook dated on and off for about eleven months. The pressure of the constant media attention was hard on their relationship. Fantasia gave inconsistent interviews about the status of her relationship with Mr. Cook because sometimes they were on and sometimes they were off.

When they were on, they spent most of their time together when she was not traveling with work.
Fantasia read Mrs. Cook’s Complaint against Mr. Cook for the first time yesterday. She knows some of the allegations in Mrs. Cook’s complaint are totally false. There are others she strongly doubts. There is plenty she does not know.

Fantasia is heartbroken and is sorry for any pain she may have caused.

Yesterday, she was totally overwhelmed by the lawsuit and the media attention. Last night, Fantasia was hospitalized. She took an overdose of aspirin and a sleep aid.

Her injuries are not life threatening. She was dehydrated and exhausted at the time. Fantasia is stable now. She will be released from the hospital soon. Fantasia is a fighter and a survivor. This is not the hardest thing Fantasia has endured.

Fantasia will be stronger, smarter, and better for it. Her work has always inspired her and served as a source of strength. Her new album, “Back To Me,” will be released on August 24th.

The lyrics to “I’m Here” say it best:
“I Believe I Have Inside Of Me
Everything That I Need To Live A Bountiful Life
With All The Love Inside Of Me
I’ll Stand As Tall As The Tallest Tree
And I’m Thankful For Each Day That I’m Given
Both The Easy And The Hard Ones I’m Livin’
But Most Of All
Yes, I’m Thankful For Lovin’ Who I Really Am”

Fantasia sends her praise to God and her eternal gratitude to her fans, friends, and family.

God is good.

Sex can become a little boring if your always doing the same old thing or if your the only one who kicks it off. It needs to be a fair balance within the bedroom so that both parties can feel as if they are getting please. A lot of men say that women are not aggressive enough in the bed room. They like to be smacked around and old what to do as well as we do so I am asking you do you like to follow or lead? Me personally I like to lead but I can submit as well and do whatever you like.

I think Chilli missed out on her soulmate when she left Usher and I believe she knows it as well. Watching her talk about him on VH1 I saw that what they had sometimes you only get to find that kind of love once in a lifetime. A love that connects you together where it always feels right even in the bad times you still feel connected. It’s hard to find someone you have things in common with, chemistry, great sex, good conversation, great times and a connection that burns so deep you can feel it even when they are away. I mean I don’t understand how someone can let something so great go, but then again we live with so much baggage and fear in our lives even when you have someone who is that right standing in front of you, you’ll find something wrong because you afraid to let go.  I can’t see how you can shake that “I missed out” feeling when you skipped over the person you know you could have had a happy life with? Of course some say everything happens for a reason but I truly believe some things are destine and we hinder ourselves by not letting go of past things or being to stubborn to give in. Sometimes the only reason that you miss out on something great is because you where to scared to move your feet and it will be something that you will have to live with forever. And it’s much easier say “maybe it wasn’t meant” but the truth is, it was and you missed out and you might not have another chance at finding that one again. I really hope Chilli and Usher either get back together or she settles instead of trying to find another him because sometimes you only get one real love in a lifetime and everyone else is what you have to settle with.

Temeka Raymond didn’t seem to happy about this and she told Chili to get over it… lol

I think so. I feel that men and women are made up differently so it is a need for each sex to have a different role in a relationship. Of course there’s the big debate about black women not knowing how to submit which maybe true. However in a relationship especially a marriage both parties have to submit in my book, the man to God and the woman to him. If a man is not leading the right way why should anyone follow him? I do believe that it was an order set and for a good reason, “Man, Woman and child” and should be followed. I think sometimes we as women just don’t like nobody telling us what to do, and it’s probably the hardest part of the submit factor. The way I see it the word Woman is a made up of two elements Wo/man, the word is very powerful and strong. Nothing and I mean nothing in this world would be able to sustain without us. In a family the woman is the backbone the one who makes things happen, the one who picks up the pieces and most of the time the one who gets mistreated. But where would the world be without us, even if you take a man and dress him up and change his sex he will still never compare to the power God gave us.

The two elements of the word in my opinion means she can stand as one, or stand-alone. We are the elements that make the world go round; we breathe life into this world. Sometimes we are forced to stand-alone and take care of everything ourselves with no help. Sometimes we make a tuff bed to lie in but we women and not girls figure it out.  Sometimes we have to stand as one, be the back bone and let our husbands lead the way but whatever cards we our dealt we can deal with because we are made up to do so. On the other hand the word Man cannot be broken down, it means only one thing and it only has one way, it depends on a woman, as they are a part of our name. No matter if it’s his mother, sister, cousin, wife, lover, friend whoever she is, a man will lean on a woman to do the things he can’t.

So the point I am making here is, in a relationship the woman is the most important part of it because she can do all things. So the order that was set Man, Woman and Child was only to make a man feel like he is running it. So it’s okay to fall back and let him think he is because we all know that we really run this shyt so it’s okay to play our role and know that we are the ones that keeps the house together. Remember it’s not what you do it’s how you do, a smile in his face and an eye roll behind his back won’t hurt anybody lol.

Poor Jessica Simpson, what is this boyfriend number six or seven for her? I mean her ex husband Nick Lachey has been with his girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo since the divorce was final. Why is it harder for women to rebound in relationships? I see this happen all the time women going from one relationship to the next while the ex is either married or in a steady relationship. Is it easier for men to find love Vs women? My ex tells me all the time I will not find a man who wants me, I just ignore his jealous rants. However it does seem that women do have a harder time finding and keeping a relationship Vs men I wonder why is that?