I was commenting over at msbitchies house on Friday about how a men need to be the first love of there daughters life. But over the weekend I sat and thought to myself, why is our community’s relationship so full of drama, abuse and disrespect? Now I’m not saying that other community’s relationships don’t have the same problems but I only can speak from my point of view. I recall commenting about how women needed to go back to the old days and I remember getting chewed out. But on Friday she had a post from a brother saying the same things. Now the same women who bad mouthed me, where all singing amen to him, I was like for real now since this brother speaks we all listen?

But in reality women listen to men way more than they would a woman, we let them manipulate us, corrupt our mind, knock our self esteem down so low where we feel were worthless. Then we need them to build us up, tell us that were beautiful, we want them to love us and cherish us. We want men to understand us and respect us. We want them to treat us like queens and we NEED them no matter how much we yell we don’t need a man, we do!

Now my problem with men is the fact that men have fallen from what God has spoken for them to be, God created men first, for him to be the head, the leader, the protector, the hunter, and the provider. Then he created him a helpmate, a woman. Now first off when God create women he wrote in his word for men to love there wife’s as he loved the world. This means in my eyes, he wanted men to sacrifice for his family, nurture and take care of his flock. God did not put us on this earth to be abused, disrespected, manipulate, hurt, ran over, stomped down, deceived, cheated on and left feeling scorn.  God created us as a man’s helpmate to be his partner and to become one and grow.

I’m not man bashing, I know it’s some good brothers out there; I’m just trying to write a wake up call. It’s time to wake up; it’s time to step up. We need the father in you, the love that you give to your mother, the love you have for your sister, the unconditional love that you should have for your daughter.  We need to be loved the way you would want your mother, sister or daughter loved. Its mind blowing how many men hit women but when somebody hit’s there mother or sister there ready to strap up and go to war. Well your wife/girl is somebody’s sister, daughter and mother.  Why is it so hard to show the same respect? We need the same respect, Black men always want to holler about a angry Black woman, but why are the black men tearing there own sisters down? And if this post doesn’t pertain to you than don’t get mad, I’m just being real.

When will men understand that a woman needs them? But she doesn’t need to be abused; she doesn’t deserve to be disrespected. Of course relationships get hard, life is hard but the one person you should feel safe with, now we have to be scared of? I know that the main problem with our community and us is being fatherless. Were all out here trying to find the way, were all trying to figure out life, I know if your not taught than you have learn the way yourself. And the truth be told were all out here just learning as we go, but men need to step up. If you’re supposed to be the head and the leader than it’s time to step up. You have all the skills, so start being a man, a father lets start utilizing those skills, that maybe you were not taught but your old enough to understand them.  Lets start being a father to your kids, start loving your wife’s.

The way I look at it how could you show your daughter how to be treated if you’re disrespecting her mother? How can you show her what it is to be love by a man, when you don’t know how to love a woman yourself? What examples can you show her about how she should be treated if you’re out chasing women leaving her mother at home lonely? What are you showing her if you’re cheating and beating on her mother, it IS the father’s job to step up and treat his family right? (And when I say father I’m talking about being the father to the entire family including loving your wife like you love your kids.)

Fella’s start loving you wife/girls like you want your daughter to be love, because at the end of the day were all women and we all need the father in you.


Father in You – Mary J Blige Music Code


Sometimes life can get you down, you feel like you have reached your limits and you just can’t take anymore. Every time you try to take a step forward you get knocked two steps backwards. And even when you get ahead or make a little change the damn car breaks down and now you’re broke again. I know sometimes you can even see the light at the end of tunnel, or it’s seem so far away and you feel like your not going to make it. Sometimes you just want to be far away from here, far away from your problems, your trouble, your bills, your life.  Well we all can’t vacation in Miami are island hop like B and Jay; we can’t board a yacht like Diddy.  But we all have to find a way to balance and maintain our sanity, sometimes for us women, running a hot bubble bath, with burning candles and light music playing will help us relax. For the fella’s maybe picking up a hobby like putting car’s together where you can sit alone and just be to yourself. Do plan yourself a vacation at least once a year because we all work hard and we deserve to get far way from here sometimes.

What do you do when you feel like you had enough and want to get far away from here?

I was chit chatting with a male friend and he told me that he hates it when girls where big panties. Of course I busted out laughing because it’s just a force of habit. There comfortable, they feel great against our skin and there easy, we throw them on without even thinking. Of course if were trying to get with a guy and do the grown folks we wear are sexy panties to tease him. But after months go on and you guys are spending the night, the granny panties get pulled out the draw and put on. What’s the use, you think to yourself. You already got him and your not checking for a yeast infection from those silk panties so Hanes Her Way it is. But he says men hate it when they come home and pull the covers back and your girl has on big panties. I was like whatever, but it had me thinking last night. Is it really a big deal? I guess that depends on the man you are dating; some may not care while others may want to come home to some nice silky lace boy shorts. Who knows, but I think it’s something to talk about with your spouse. Sometimes the littlest things unsaid can lead to some cheating. So something as little as wearing sexy panties can turn into a big deal so if that’s what your spouse wants, than why not. (especially if he’s buying)

I know there a little higher than Hanes, hell you can get seven pair of panties in a pack for six dollars. But you can find nice pretty panties at WalMart, Target and other stores for pretty cheap. So lets break out the sexy panties for our men.

Also fella’s do you like these kind of panties?

I’m just saying–do you? lmao……and he has the nice sexy high heels..teehee

Last weekend I watch The Diary Of a Tired black Man, now I have to say I think it’s worth the 15$ price tag however. Brothers kill me trying to label all black women. They called it Angry Black Woman syndrome. Now firstly the woman who plays this man’s wife was a bitch and didn’t appreciate having a good man.  This movie tried to make it seem as if all black women have bad attitudes and stay angry. After I watched this movie I had a moment, I wanted to voice my opinion and what better way to do it than to create my own documentary.

This movie really touched me because I didn’t like the way it made it seem that all black women are no good. So I will be filming, The Diary Of a Tired Black Woman in the upcoming months. I will take the same steps as the young man who recorded this documentary and use my own life. Because the truth of the matter is that; we are not angry just tired of bullshit!

My thing is it’s the same, a man can have a good woman and dog her is does he have a Angry Black Man disorder?  Its women, who love, cherish, submit, sex, don’t argue and still get treated bad so I’m going to show the flip side. The side of a woman who loved to the ends of the earth and was scorn and bruised and see what the men have to say about that.

It’s not that were angry fella’s just tired!!!

The Diary Of a Tired Black Woman coming soon!!!

Pick up The Diary Of Tired Black Man everywhere movies are sold.

It’s hard healing yourself after you’ve been hurt, your heart feels like it can’t take anymore. You throw your hands up and say forget it, it’s better to be alone. You close off everything and seclude yourself from the reality of starting over. Personally me myself, I don’t know how to get my heart back nor do I want to. I want to be by myself! If Love is Pain why bother?

It’s hard getting back to that person you were before you feel in love with someone. It’s hard getting back to the way things use to be. It’s not easy not letting that person take the one thing that you do have and that’s to love. Getting your heart back does take time, but you do have to be willing I think. I couldn’t even tell you the steps, I think you just need to take the time and heal and not jump back out there.

What are your thoughts? How do you get your heart back?

Also do you think this is the reason relationships don’t work out because people don’t wait until they gotten there heart back?


Got to Get My Heart Back – Keyshia Cole Music Code


Help I need to lose twenty pounds asap…I took some pictures and I am fat as hell I was just slim last summer but done ate my stress away. I need to loose weight now!!!! Please anyone have any good diet secrets that I can loose weight really fast?

Help me out–at least I noticed it….

I had a great discussion over at msbitchie house about strippers and it made me think of this post, Everything That Glitters Ain’t Gold.

So you see her she riding slick, her purse is top of the line and she has the best weave money can buy. All of sudden you wonder off and wish that was you; you wish you had a nice car and a big diamond ring like her. You tell yourself it must be nice, but the truth is how do we know if it’s nice. How do we know if she’s happy? Material things don’t make you happy. We don’t know what she goes through to keep that lifestyle up. It may seem like you want to walk in her stilettos but do you.
 
After going back and forward with some strippers on the site making things seem so sweet in the tip drill world I ran across this on global grind on Ms Brooke page,

“No matter what anyone glamorizes about stripping–it’s not a healthy lifestyle. Too often we get consumed with what someone or something can do for us..instead of working hard to earn what we want. The fast money, flashy cars, and ballers are all over and done with, what do we have to show for ourselves? 3 Louie bags and butt implants? What happened to a purpose-driven life? *This is not a stab in the dark at Brooke or any other dancer. So please do without the hate replies, to each it’s own : )” –Anonymous”

It’s the truth, you see somebody you feel has it good but really there worse off than you; yeah they have the shinny rings and the flashy life but there unhappy. I know I get upset with I see women like Ms Rose come up, but after today I convinced that just because things seems to be good don’t mean there good after all. We don’t know what drama is going on, are even if she really wants to be there.  After reading a commenter explain her husband caught HIV from a stripper and gave it to her that blew my mind. You never know what’s going on in people life, and just because something looks good doesn’t mean it’s good for you.

I can personally admit to fronting for people like everything was cool but it was all bad, I was praying for a way to get out.

Always remember, Everything That Glitter’s Ain’t Gold…

I can’t have any friends, talk on the phone, leave the house or think for myself. I can’t do what I want to; even when I leave the house you call me every five minutes. I don’t feel like I’m in a relationship I feel like I’m in prison.

Do you ever feel this way like your trapped? Like your spouse suffocates you?

I know I have felt this way often in my relationship, I think it’s sad when the person you’re with wants to be under you 24/7. They don’t want you to have any friends or outside life besides them. Sometimes, they want to isolate you from your family and keep track of what you are doing.  This behavior is very unhealthy and can lead to abuse. It’s not cute at all to feel trapped and unhappy.  Every move you make that person is right behind you—I mean in a relationship yes there should be togetherness and love but you need your own identity and some me time.

My pet peeve was every time I got ready to go he would stay in the house and want me to stay in with him, I mean every time.  Every other weekend he’d be in the streets but when I wanted to go he wanted to stay in, it was so many times (12 years) were we’d argue because he wanted me to stay in-and sometimes they even turned into fights were I had no choice but not to show my face. Even when I got outside he called me every five minutes and gave me a time to be in.  I can count on both my hands how many times I’ve been to the club—I don’t even think I’ve been to a club 8 times in my life.  Last year I went out twice which both times I argued and had to be in when he wanted—sad. He always yelling- I’m not going to share you with nobody—and stop talking to your friends they fycking up your head. (Because they can get out when they wanted) It’s embarrassing and to stressful—I know one thing if I ever decided to get back into another relationship I will never let this happen again.

Have you ever felt like you were in prison in a relationship? Or do you think it’s okay to be around your partner 24/7 even if you’re married?

It might be old to you but it’s definitely new the next man…

You don’t miss a good thing until it’s gone, sometimes we take for granted that time waits for no one. Mistreating what you should be appreciating, thinking that person will always be in your life forever. But you have to remember sometimes forever turns into never-I never want to see you again to be exact. Getting tired of going through the same ole things, this selfish shyt got a person going insane. Walking around like your shyt don’t stink- but I can guarantee your going to miss me. It’s such a shame—your just too damn blind to realize you had a good thing, but when you wake up you won’t see me, because it’s already too late. I got my bags pack and my foot out the door, bout to hit the road jack and I ain’t never coming back no more. 

All you’ll have is memories of what we use to be, thoughts of how you should have treated me. Sleepless nights while you think of me, wondering who’s at my place holding me? Shouldn’t have been thinking foolishly you should have always believed that you don’t miss a good thing until it leaves.

 
Dont Miss A Good Thing - 3 Piece

I never saw this extended version of Rain on Me by Ashanti, I had the worse weekend as usual and I’m just tired of everything. This is definitely a summery of my life, I can’t understand why when your on a come up the person closest to you has to be jealous. 

I’m lookin’ in the mirror, At this woman down and out, She’s internally dyin’, and knew this was not what love’s about, I don’t wanna be this woman, The second time around, ’Cause I’m wakin’ up screamin’, no longer believin’ , That I’m gonna be around.