I am a firm believer career wise to fake it until you make it, it has worked for me. However in my personally life I will not for one second fake happiness again! You are not fooling anyone but yourself and at least at a job you are getting compensated well for your struggles and it that’s becomes too much on to the next one. You can fool your boss and co-workers into training you to do their job, and make good with doing that. But faking a happy relationship; who does that benefit?  You? Maybe your spouse?  Your kids who see you fussing and fighting all the time? Your parents, your siblings or maybe your friends? Are maybe it’s the outsiders who you want to envy you and think you have it all when you really don’t?  

People fake love for the outsiders to believe all the time; but on the inside where no one dwells but them the real shows! And after a while; because you can only be fake for so long, the real shows through to the outsiders as well. Your look, your walk, your conversations and your bitterness tells it all without you speaking one word about your problems you’re trying so hard to cover up. Once saving face for the outsiders has taken a toll over your life; and your looking worn down and stressed out what will you do? One day you will have to face the facts that the people you’re trying to make envy you; are the same people u envy on the low. Those folks who you go out of your way to front for; are the same ones you think about when shyt gets bad and you wish you were somebody/somewhere else. One day you will wake up and wish just to be happy! The question is how long will you fake it before you realize the only thing you can change in your life is who you are allowing in and putting out of it. Happiness starts with self! Is it really worth faking it for others because nobody has to walk in your shoes but you!! Hey it’s your life waste it how you want; but time is the most valuable thing we have because you can’t get it back!!!! I’m speaking from experience because I have already been there and done that and I hated it. Life is only what you make it and you only get what you are willing to accept, so just remember you can fake it all you want to but will you make it? I doubt it… Keep it 100 always because lying to yourself gets you nowhere in life.

Nichelle Walker

I remember sitting around being a victim, blaming other women for what was failing in my relationship. I can even recall on a couple of blog post where I said we should come together as one. I was a kool-aid drinker for sure. At least I can admit that I once blame others for my problems. My ex cheated on me a few times and held long term outside relationships with these women. I was angry and bitter about it and instead of me seeing that it was only one person that I needed to blame and one problem that I needed to get rid of; I didn’t. It was the other woman’s fault in my mind.  But one day I woke up and saw the truth and the truth set me free.

It’s funny how we blame others for problems that we allow. Some stuff is beyond our control in our lives. I got hit by a car in grammar school, which was beyond my control, but me staying with a man who had no respect for me was in my control. A person can only do to you what you allow them to do. Truth is, as long as you blame other people for your wrong and failures you will keep making the same mistakes. As women when our husband/boyfriend steps out on us, there’s no need to blame another woman for what your spouse did. If your mate has no respect for you then the next person won’t either.  Is so easy to say she did this, she knew about me, blah, blah. But the truth is and what we don’t see is what your mate has told that woman. You don’t know the lies and game he has kicked to her and at the end of the day it’s him that you need to blame. Not the next chick, so what if she knew about you, what does that mean when your husband/man laid down with her?

It’s easy to say it’s her fault even if you contacted her, you don’t know if the man has told this woman that you are crazy and to ignore you. If he loves you then he wouldn’t put you into that space over and over again. Because truth was, when I ran off one chick the next chick came and then the next chick. So once I kicked him to the curve all my problems stop because the problem was he wanted to be free so I set him free. I deserve better than a man who lies and cheats and the next chick can have him. I don’t need to sit around and blame another woman because what is she getting a man who cheats right? #letitgo!!  I have been in Mashonda shoes and one thing I’m not blaming anyone for my ex doing what he did to me but him for doing it and me for putting up with it.

I set myself free and would never let a man disrespect me like that again because we have the power in our lives. Stop blaming and start seeing that lesson that needs to be learned. And that’s if you let a man run over you he will do it over and over again. Kick that ninja to the left and keep on stepping! It doesn’t matter who fault it was it only matters that you deserve better. If he doesn’t want to love you the way he should then let it go because you can’t change em but you damn sure can replace em!!!!  

Also the most important lesson I learned so far in my life, is that you can be in Alicia Keys shoes in a blink of an eye! So don’t judge or turn your nose up because men lie, women lie but facts don’t… Don’t judge just pray it never happens to you because life is cold and unfair.

Poor Jessica Simpson, what is this boyfriend number six or seven for her? I mean her ex husband Nick Lachey has been with his girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo since the divorce was final. Why is it harder for women to rebound in relationships? I see this happen all the time women going from one relationship to the next while the ex is either married or in a steady relationship. Is it easier for men to find love Vs women? My ex tells me all the time I will not find a man who wants me, I just ignore his jealous rants. However it does seem that women do have a harder time finding and keeping a relationship Vs men I wonder why is that?

I had a talk with a friend of mine about how can relationships that has no sex survive? I mean personally I had a gentleman approach me but he got to talking that non-sense about no sex before marriage. I’m like “where they do that at?” I mean for me I’m more of the try before you buy. Sex is 50% of a relationship probably more depending on who’s asking. But in my opinion I feel it makes up 50 percent of the relationship. So how can a relationship be solid if you have never been intimate with your partner? What if you sign your name on the dotted line and it’s whack? What if it’s to small, or she to wide or whatever. I mean I know the bible says no sex before marriage but if you are not a virgin then it becomes complicated. Bad sex will kill a relationship period. It pushes people to cheat and do things that they are not supposed to do. You can really be feeling a person up until you get into the bed with them, after that your telling yourself “I ain’t wasting up any more bap on them.” So in essence can a relationship be 100 % without sex? I don’t think so unless you have two people on the same page; meaning virgins or they both are on the no sex rule other than that it won’t work. And I say pity the fool that marries a person without seeing if you truly can be happy with them. Because sex does matter, no matter how much we play it down.

Kissing you is all that I been thinking of… Kissing is such an intimate act; it gives you passion and can make you lust for the person you are being intimate with. Kissing your significant other while making love or in the right spot could send them into an orgasmic place instantly. There’s nothing like the perfect kiss, at the right time; in the right place.

A kiss could be filled with passion or cold as ice. I feel like you shouldn’t kiss just anybody especially if that person doesn’t mean anything to you. Firstly it’s nasty to kiss strange people in the mouth; you can catch a STD by passing saliva so I vote no. I think it should be save for someone who means the world to you. It is a down side to this great act, when you’re in a long-term relationship usually kissing passionately goes out the door. You only pass pecks and when it’s time for sex it’s so routine and plain that you just go right in. I can remember in my last relationship sitting back and thinking about the last time he had kissed me. And it had been years it kind of through me for a loop it’s like wow this man doesn’t even kiss on me anymore. I think it’s also a sign that your spouse feelings for you are not the same.  Or maybe you have to rekindle that burned out flame by starting back sharing passionate kisses with each other.

Kissing is something that you should do with your spouse often. Kiss them in all of there favorite spots; kiss them all over their body before, during and after sex. The feeling of nice tender wet lips planted all over your body makes you tremble.  Kiss them in unexpected places, like the underarm—I know your saying what? But if your spouse is fresh out the shower you can kiss them all over their body and if you kiss and lick them in that spot (underarm) I can guarantee they will love it. Another great spot is between the thighs, that’s a very sensitive spot for a man or a woman, planting gentle kisses up and down that area will give them much pleasure. Okay that’s enough with that; I have to put my alter ego back up she sneaks out sometimes –lol

So tell me do you think kissing is passionate and vital to keep love alive?



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Well, I read an interview with Luda and he skipped out on claiming his new girlfriend; some people said he was bogus others felt he just wants his business private. I don’t know the main reason, but what I do know is; when some men like Lance Gross show their love and affection for their girl (Eva) they get pinned as puzzy whipped or a sucker. I believe it’s the main reason men hold back on their feelings and act hard all the time because they don’t want to be viewed as soft. They put up fronts for there male friends as if they don’t care about their girl like that. I also believe the world has made it hard for men to be as open about there feelings as well. All the rappers and there songs about cutty buddies and on to the next one, it seems as if it’s wrong for a man to be madly in love.

Why hide someone that you’re in love with happily?

When you have rappers such as TI calling his fiancée, Tameka, a “situation” on national TV as if he didn’t kiss her and say I love you before hand. All for image are not to be viewed as soft? I mean love is love right? It should be celebrated not pushed to the back burner when you’re around certain people. I see this all the time; men hold n back there feelings for what? I mean if you digging her why not let go and let it be known that she is your girl? This is a part of making your woman feel like a woman your woman! We can sit back and make all kind of excuses for men, but the truth is they are worried about what people will say about them not wanting to run the streets. There’s nothing wrong with loving one woman and letting it be known that you’re in love, we do it all the time as women.

I know some will say there not men, just males however it’s more males then men in there world. There’s nothing wrong with making your lady feel special and I am all for keeping your business yours. However it is nothing wrong with acknowledging the person you are madly in love with and keeping it at that. Men hold back for all kinds of reason, probably the same as women, being hurt, scared of commitment, not ready or  the main (imo) reason they don’t want to be viewed as a sucker for love.

One thing for sure women are not scare to claim there spouse most times they claiming something that’s not even there’s.  So tell me why do you think men hold back their feelings?



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We all get to this point in a new relationship, your feeling like every thing is going great; in your mind you tell yourself so far so good. Everything is moving at a great pace and he/she is making you feel like you’re the only thing that matters to them. The sex is explosive, you guys have great conversation and you feel as if your soul has connected with this person. During intimate love making sessions the word I love you is exchanged in the heat of the moment, but your not for sure if they really meant it. You know you’ve heard him/her tell you this many times during sex before but deep down inside your scared to say it first outside of sex.

After a great round you sit there and stare at that person, deep inside you feel as if you love them to. You want to say it back but you freeze up what if he/she didn’t mean it you tell yourself. You’re shaking and scared because this is the breaking point, will they feel I’m crazy?  Do they feel the same as I do? The idea of coming clean is great but the reality is, you’ve been hurt, you don’t know what this person really feels, you don’t want to feel silly, it’s to soon. Excuse after excuse pops in your mind why you should hold back, you’re convinced it’s better if they say it to you first. But it never comes to mind, as your sitting there with all these thoughts so is your partner.

So who breaks down and says it first?

Me personally feel it’s the mans place what are your thoughts? There’s nothing like being in love by yourself not a great thing I tell ya.



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What you want might make you cry, What you need might pass you by, If you don’t catch it, If you don’t catch it, And what you need ironically
Will turn out what you want to be, If you just let it, If you just let it ~~ Lauryn Hill

I often wonder why people say, Pain Is Love I don’t believe that at all. Pain isn’t love; pain is pain. Usually when you’re in pain your hurting are going through a healing stage of some kind. So I can’t understand how we can foolishly trick ourselves into believing that pain is love. Pain is a form of struggle, and we all go through struggles in life, things we need to overcome. However if something is causing you pain wouldn’t you want to get rid of it? Not sit there and bare the pain and say this is life, this is how things supposed to be.

Love is a second hand emotion, an act that many of us have yet to master or understand what it means. We all define love differently, love will mean different things to all of us, and no matter what we feel love should be the next person will see it differently. Some people believe love is just having someone to claim them while some feel love is having a person to share their life with. I could be all day breaking down the many takes on love but its only one true meaning. I can’t sit here and tell you I know what the true meaning is. Like a lot of us I tricked myself into believing that love is pain when it isn’t.

There’s no way you can be deeply in love with a person who is hurting you, yes you can fool yourself into believing I love this man/woman. But do you really? You’re crying all the time, upset, angry, unhappy and stressed out. You can’t sleep or eat because you just want a change from them; you want that person to be who you want them to be, who you need them to be. You blind your eyes from all the truths that are in front of you because you swear by the saying Pain Is Love.

Please wake up and understand that love doesn’t involve pain, love is pure, and love is unselfish. We can say, when Jesus walked the earth he went through a lot of pain and he still loved us enough to die for our sins. Yes he did but he was pure, free of sin and had a clear purpose. He left a book behind that tells us what love is, he walked an unselfish journey here; how many people can say that? The blueprint is already designed but we don’t want to receive it. We rather do our own thing and make our own rules in this life. (Is this why we hurt)?

I’m not sitting here saying love doesn’t hurt, love doesn’t come with a struggle but loves doesn’t cause you pain. We cause ourselves pain believing in a love that doesn’t believe in us. I’ve come to realize what you want my might you cry and what you need WILL pass you by if you don’t catch it. If you are telling yourself pain is love please sit back and reevaluate what you are subjecting yourself to. Pain is pain and there’s no good feeling when you’re in pain; your sitting they’re looking for a way to get better.

In my book the only way to get over pain is to find the cause of it and get rid of it.

Don’t hang on to thoughts of what can be, but see things for what they are and go from there. Remember what you want might not be what you need and what you need can turn out to what you want it to be if you let it.


08 When It Hurts So Bad – Lauren Hill Music Code


Let rain come falling, fighting cat’s and dogs~~ H-Town

It’s broad casted worldwide, you’ve been warned over and over again, the clouds have turned dark grey and it’s even drizzling like crazy. But yet you still believe you can beat the storm, you know it’s dangerous but in your mind you have to get to where you are going. “What about all my things, my life how can I just leave it on the whelm? Although you know it’s a strong possibility that storm could wreck your life, you still believe you can make it. You call yourself being careful and proceeding with caution because you believe anything can be overcame. You really can’t go by what others are saying because nobody knows exactly what’s going to happen in this life but God. Honestly a part of you wants to show others that they were wrong and you were right. So you sacrifice everything including your own life and peace of mind just to prove others wrong.

Why?

Hanging on to forever can be a deadly disease that will eat you alive. In our minds we feel we gotta have it, our hearts and soul wants that notoriety.  We want to win no matter what, in fact some of us want to win so bad that we loose ourselves in that one word forever.. But what is forever? Everybody has a different meaning and definition of what that word means to him or her. I once was hung up on finding forever I needed it; I didn’t want to be the one who heard I told you so. In my mind, I felt I started a relationship, had kids and planned to be married to this man I had to finish what I started.  No matter what I needed to keep hanging on to forever at least the thought of it.

But life ain’t all peaches and cream like you see in the movies and fairy tales. In fact life is harsh and unfair at times and to be truthful the only forever you really need to seek is with God. The reality is once the rain starts falling down in your relationship there’s nothing you can do about it.  Once the good is gone you have to move on, sitting back and hanging on to forever will only hurt you. If you see a storm coming there’s no need of thinking you can beat it, you have to run for cover and protect yourself. I mean yes it could by pass and blow over or maybe not, I believe you have to ask yourself is it really worth sticking around to find out. Each situation is different but for me, I should have been gone long ago. I saw the grey clouds I heard the weather man and even seen how dark it could get, but being stuck on forever made me believe there was hope when there wasn’t.

If the rain is falling down in your life take the time and think about is it worth the trouble to weather the storm, sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t. Don’t sit around hanging on to the word forever, because is there really such a thing anyway? Beside while your hanging on to forever life is passing you by; I’ve learned that I rather hang on to my peace of mind instead of a silly word that everybody interprets differently.

Everyday we fuss and fight, we got to separate, see when the good is gone, we got to move on… H-Town

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Nelly sat down with The Fly Guy and spoke about cheating and why he feels it’s up to the couple only. I do agree with him that all relationships run differently and no two people are alike, so how can someone tell anyone how to make a relationship. Check out the interview below,

Nelly On whether you should confess to cheating, even if you don’t get caught
Obviously no one wants to get cheated on and noone wants to hurt the person they are with. I think its one of those things where” to each its own”. No relationship is the same and I think that is what we are forgetting when we look at this. A relationship should be whatever makes those two people happy. That’s what we forget. Everyone is trying to stereotype what a relationship should be. If those two people are happy, that’s the way it should be. I hate when you look at all these books on how to make a relationship work. How the hell you are going to say how to make a relationship work when people aren’t the same? Their environment aren’t the same. They go to marriage counselors telling them how a relationship should be and his relationship ain’t even right.

Nelly On Tiger Woods In The Media
I don’t see how all these wimpy ass cats are coming out talking about how they’ve lost all this respect for Tiger…. If I was tiger i would say “I’m apologizing to my wife and my family. I’m not apologizing to nobody else out here. I don’t owe nobody else anything. This was MY wife. That’s who he owes his apology to. He owes that to his kids. It has nothing to do with golf. That has nothing to do with a public perception. That was a personal relationship. That’s what I hate. He without sin cast the first stone. That’s how I feel. Can’t no one mess with that man on the golf course and I hope he comes out and whips everyone’s ass. I’m cheering for Tiger than ever now.

Nelly On Side Pieces and Jump Offs on the come up
If Tiger would have been hanging with the brothas, he’d have been up on his game right now and we could have pulled him to the side and said “yo pimp, don’t do that. That’s not a good move right there. She’s gonna get you caught up homes”…and it would have been alright. There are opportunist everywhere and in everything that you do. It’s hard when you are the biggest at what you do. When you do that, they see dollar signs and even though they may not want to hurt you, survival is the most important top of the food chain. So when people see an opportunity to be successful, however it may come, they think about that. You don’t want people to think about being successful at your expense. Unfortunately there is alot of people getting rich off of Tiger right now (News, sports channels, magazines) and nobody is taking in consideration that his life is in shambles. Tell all these wimpy ass men to stand up and support the man. Not support what he has done. This could be you. Your business just not out there right now.

Nelly Talks Cheaters, Side Chicks & Tiger Woods from The Fly Guy on Vimeo.